I've sought therapy, been on meds, tried going back to the gym, travel, etc. Still I'm in the same miserable place emotionally. The one thing I can't control my loneliness still exists in my life. I can't make a person like me and I definitely can't make anyone love me. I can't make someone become a friend or want to spend time with me or talk with me. But the one thing i can control is my death. I can wait and wait for things in my life to further deteriorate to the point that i completely self-destruct. Or I just wake-up one day realizing that I'm old, sick, and very alone. That's really what I'm destined for if I can continue to live and that's why I know for me suicide is the only way to save myself from total misery.