I Feel Like Suicide May Be Inevitable. How Not to Hurt Loved Ones?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by xlz24, Oct 23, 2015.

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  1. xlz24

    xlz24 New Member

    I don't know if I'm going to last much longer. I've written letters to my roommates, parents, and a friend I've alienated letting them know that it isn't their fault, and that there was nothing they could have done to have prevented it. I know they're going to feel hurt and betrayed regardless, but I'm trying to make it as clear as possible that they're not responsible in any way. I don't know if there's anything else I can do to make it easier for them. I really don't want anyone I care about thinking that they could have done more, because they honestly couldn't have.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there

    SF is stricly a pro life site and we will not aid you or give you any advice about ending your life, however, we will try and be there for you and support you to the the best of our ability. What has drove you to this point in your life? Please read the sites guidelines before posting again. I really wish you well and wish I could take the pain away from you.

    Kind regards
    Lynn
     
  3. xlz24

    xlz24 New Member

    I'm sorry. I just feel so terrible. I've been depressed and suicidal for years now, but what's pushing me to this point is the loss of a friend. I alienated her with my talk of suicide and depression, and now she refuses to speak to me. She believes I was trying to manipulate her, which isn't true. I feel like such a burden now, and I want to remove myself from the equation so I don't hurt anyone else.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am sorry you feel that way. Do you have any idea why she feels you were trying to manipulate her? You are not a burden, you are just as important as the next person, my wise mother always told me I wasn't higher than anyone else but I was not lower than them either, that helped me a lot and I hope thinking that way can help you too.
    Are you seeing a doctor for your depression? I think it is your best bet and no they won't lock you up as most people think, they will assess you and go from there, maybe refer you further to a psych or prescribe medications or both?
    I really hope you feel better soon ((gentle hugs))
     
  5. xlz24

    xlz24 New Member

    I'm not sure, to be honest. I relied far too heavily on her, which I feel awful about, but I never used threats of suicide to blackmail her or anything. I've sent her a message apologizing and explaining that my behavior might be linked to Borderline Personality Disorder, but she hasn't responded. I don't think I'm ever going to hear from her again.

    I am seeing a therapist and talking Zoloft, but I don't think either are working.
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    We have some things in common.I have borderline personality disorder too and i'm on zoloft. It helps me.
    If you don't think your therapy and/or medications are working you really need to let them know asap so you can get it switched and be on the road to recovery.

    Your friend might cool down, if you feel you owe her an apology then give her one, that's done so now you just need to ensure it won't happen in the future.
    Borderline personality disorder causes impulsiveness, so I really hope you are not in imminent danger,if you are please go to the ER or ring your local crisis nurse at the hospital.

    Kind regards,

    lynn
     
  7. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member


    xiz24, please hold on, I do not think that you can do anything to make what you are talking about easy, I really do not like saying that to you but it is the truth! I cannot judge you but I know how I would feel, I have lost some already, I cannot think about them right now, it would hurt me to badly. I do not want to hurt you or try to make you feel bad or worse then you do already!, You are right though no one can stop you! No one could have stopped me! I have tried before, I spent 7 weeks in a hospital! please hold on here for now, there is no hurry is there? Life is beautiful, yes there are rough spots,when all is said an done, it is a beautiful world, there are beautiful people in it too! there is so much more You have come to the right place to talk to people about your problems that right now seem insurmountable at this moment but in truth they are not! you are hurting now, you feel lost and alone, I want to tell you that you are not alone you are not lost, we are here to help you get through this, we will be here after as well when you feel better and come back to share your story with us! We know and understand how you feel, we have all been where you are now! please talk to someone and live even if just for a while, we want to hear what you have to say! Please?
     
  8. xlz24

    xlz24 New Member

    It's not that I hate the world or anyone. It's just that nothing ever seems to get better.
     
  9. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    I know that, I have been where you are, in fact I am very close to where you are, every day sometimes every minute is a chore, one that I wonder time an again why am I going through this, why bother?? When we are so deep in the pain an the troubles, we have a hard time to even open our eyes, we cannot see all of the good things we have. The negative blocks our view we cannot see what we have, we cannot appreciate what we have we cannot feel anything but the numbness that covers our senses, a gentle touch, a shy smile, a child's laughter, the feel an look of a newborn kitten, the good an wonderful things that we so often take for granted until we cannot appreciate them, I miss them, I cry every day for some of the things I have lost, but you know all of those good things are still here and there somewhere they just need you to find them and appreciate them, when you do you will know that you are alive. you can just reach out here an some of us here will help you to possibly see and appreciate where you are, help you to feel taste, an smell that goodness again. This is a safe place, no one here will judge you, you will be helped, supported and cared for, we here know what you are feeling, we have felt it! we are here for you!
     
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