I feel lost and hopeless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ShoegazeDaydream, Dec 28, 2014.

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  1. ShoegazeDaydream

    ShoegazeDaydream ~Kid at Heart~

    Those thoughts are creeping back in again, this is why I'm back on this Forum again. For awhile I thought everything was fine and that I was actually getting happy but now I'm having those darken thoughts that I'm worthless again and that the world would be better off without me. I've been feeling really lonely lately too. Before I had a lot of people to talk too but now not many people talk to me at all, it makes me feel lonely and how pointless my life is. I haven't really done anything with my life, cause I'm afraid that I won't succeed in college. Math is my weakest subject and I'm afraid once I'll go I'll fail cause I won't be able to concentrate on anything. Right now I'm disabled and have no job, the government gives me money cause I lost my last job from me constantly calling out cause I was way too depressed to go in. Now that I'm on it, I feel like a total loser cause I can't even hold down a job. Feel like I'm going nowhere with my life cause I'm always constantly relying on people to help me get through the day. Just yesterday I was inside the chat room and I felt ignored so I started crying and felt I'd be better off dead cause I feel like such a burden on everyone. I'm trying to get better here but it's really difficult to see straight or to do anything with myself. Please someone talk to me or help me through this, I'm desperate right now.
  2. gointhrumotions

    gointhrumotions New Member

    You know the most important thing we were created to do was not to be good at maths or have a great well paid job to be a success. A true measure of how successful we are as people is how kind we are to ourselves and others. We are all as important as each other and all count. I work with people with disabilities and they give me so much in the way of kindness that I always come away feeling enriched and better for their company.
    You are entitled to be happy. The first step is that we have to be responsible for our own happiness, it is not initially something that comes from outside. Outside things and people can make us happy, but if that is the only source we rely on it will fail us and that is why some people we look at who seem to have everything can get just as low as we do.
    Treat yourself today how you are longing for other people to treat you and the things you cannot do for yourself such as a conversation do for someone else. Say Hi, smile at someone, tell them something nice about themselves. Think about the simplest things you would miss if they suddenly ceased to exist and look at them with new eyes. The sun on your face, the grass on your bare feet. Remember the things you did as a child, look at the clouds and imagine what they look like. Watch a movie that is heart-warming. 'Marvellous' is a great one. If you google 'Popcorn Time and download the free App you can watch movies online for free and it does not have any viruses.
    I had thought of ending it all yesterday, because I feel I have been abandoned by my children - who mean the most to me. However, many many people suffer great loss and they still carry on and inspire others.
    I am going to look at the selfless people I admire who used their lives they had been given for good and try and follow their example. I pray that you experience something today that makes you realise you are of value. Give something of yourself to someone who needs what you have and if that is only kindess it may be easy to give, but it is more precious than anything else.
  3. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    take one day at a time, maybe volunteer somewhere.
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