i feel lost

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by logansmom, Aug 11, 2007.

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  1. logansmom

    logansmom New Member

    i dont know where to start. it's really hard to feel the way i do, because i love my little boy, Logan. he's two. i can't seem to get a handle on things. i seem to have shopping addictions. i owe money to everyone i think. i cant focus at work, my head wont stop hurting, i dont know how to get out of debt. every payday most of our paychecks go to paying my delinquent bank account, but i cant seem to catch up. i even owe my parents money. amscot gets my money too.. it's always about money. my husband makes me miserable. god, i'm so whiny. i don't want to be that way. i dont want to be so freaking out of control. i cant catch up on what i owe. i dunno what to do anymore. i cant stop thinking, im so tired all the time. there's a void inside me i cant fill. the only thing that keeps me going is Logan. the thought of not being there to hold him kills me inside. but my brain still comes up with things.... it still tells me to just end it, then my debt could go with me... since it's all in my name anyway... but it's not just that. then "he" couldnt make me feel so shitty anymore. i really just dont know anything...
     
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. hold on to the thought of your precious little guy. He does need his mom, despite any mistakes she may have made. Have you considered seeking out debt counseling? When you get too far in debt, they help you work things out with those you owe money too and get affordable payments set up. There are options available to you if you only seek them out. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Many people have been through the same things. You are not alone. Take care and stay safe as you search for ways to help make your life better. :hug:
     
  3. RunningAway

    RunningAway Well-Known Member

    Hello :)

    Welcome to the forum :) We all make mistakes. Some bigger than others, but the key is to learn from them. Once you come out of the other side of the mess that you find yourself in make sure that the situation is not repeatable :hug:

    There are options and solutions around for help of this nature. I do not know which country you are in unfortunately though. But there will be help out there somewhere. Please stay as safe as possible. Keep remembering - it won't always be like this and there will be a way through to better times and years ahead :hug:
     
  4. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    :hug: Welcome!

    If you need any help around the forum, just PM me :smile:
     
  5. Azathoth

    Azathoth Member

    Hi Logansmom,

    One thing to look into (since I've been where your at debt-wise). Check the Fair Credit Collections Act. Some things that creditors can't do:

    1.) Call you before 9:00 AM or after 9:00 PM
    2.) In some states, they can't garnish your wages (not sure which ones)
    3.) They can't call you if you submit a written request to only be contacted by mail
    4.) They can't harass you
    5.) They can't call you at work

    Call your state's Attorney General's office. They have some people there who can tell you MUCH more than I can. I was amazed when I spoke to someone there who told me exactly what they can and can't do. They're jackals; they are paid by the debts they collect. They will tell you ANYTHING to get the debt paid, regardless of whether it's true or not (I had one collector screaming at me that he would have my paycheck garnished even though it's illegal in my state - I just told him that it was illegal and hung up).

    One more thing (I'm sure you've already thought of it, but I want to mention it just in case): never, never, never give them your debit card to make a partial payment. They will empty your account. I've seen horror stories on the web about people who did this and wound up with nothing in the bank.

    Hope this helps,
    Steve
     
  6. roro

    roro Well-Known Member

    the first and foremost thing you need to do is STOP SPENDING. Shopping is an addiction and one of the most self-destructive ones. the debt makes you more depressed, and makes you want to go out and spend more to feel better. Find something to do that is fun and free. try running, hiking, walking, roller blading, biking. take up a hobby. find something fun to do that you enjoy besides shopping. You have a little boy who will need to go to college and by then it is gonna cost 100,000 a year. stop spending for his sake. when you really NEED clothes, like nothing in your closet fits because you gained or lost too much weight, then go to salvation army or another thrift shop. I make a pretty good amount of money, I would say me and my husband are upper middle income, around 130K and I still shop at thrift shops sometimes. Dont buy anything you dont need, including food that gets wasted. everytime you see something you want, think of logan and what he is going to do when he gets to college.

    as for your debt, you have a couple options, and I have done both in my life at different times.

    if you don't own anything, like a house or other assetts (car doesn't count if its financed) then if your debts are more than you are worth in assets, and your debt is more than you can reasonably pay off in more than 7 years, then you should file bankruptcy. this means NO CREDIT for 7 years. your debts will all be erased, you can probably keep your car if you owe a lot on it. if its almost paid off, I think they just let you keep it and you pay whats left on it. if you own a house and owe way more than its worth, there may be a way to keep it and they could put a lean on it or something, you will have to talk to a lawyer or look up this stuff on the internet. if you dont own a house yet, maybe you should buy one first before the bankruptcy so at least you wont be wasting money on rent for 7 years. talk to a lawyer and see how this works.

    if bankruptcy isn't an issue, then get lower interest debt and pay it off as best you could. if you own a house you may be able to re-finance and roll over your debt. but then you will be paying a lot of interest on it over the years, 30 years. i just got 0% credit cards and kept rolling them over with balance transfers so i never pay any interest.

    if you dont have a LOT of debt, like youo could pay it off in a few years, then just pay it.

    but the biggest thing is STOP SPENDING!!!
     
  7. danni

    danni Chat Buddy

    hello and :welcome: :hug: if you need anything please feel free to pm me okay take care.
     
  8. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: welcome :hug:
     
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