i feel miserable

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by justanick, Oct 31, 2010.

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  1. justanick

    justanick New Member

    hello everyone,

    first, i'm not a native english speaker, so i hope i use the right words.
    i feel quite lonely, so i decided to post here.

    i think the hardest part is the find a good beginning, so i just gonna describe myself. i'm from europe, i study law (quite some time already), normal weight,probably abit overweight like 4-8 pounds or so (well i dont care at lol).

    okay now to my problem, im feeling very depressed since the last years.
    i guess im sexual depressed, got laid once. this bugs me often but not always, sometimes i'm just the typical depressed guy who lost sexual interests, sometimes its a big urge, i bet many forum user know the deal.
    i should also mention that i like girls that are underage (around 15-18, i dont see myself as a pedophile), but i accepted the fact that with 25 your just too old for that.

    i've got alot of financial problems, i got like 5K euro debt, that doesnt look like much , but my monthly income is very low, so it grows every month, and i have to study like another 2 years.

    i once went to a psychologist, but prozac and it's alternatives seems not to work well for me, i've read that this can be the case, when the brain has too many or too less receptors for it. i know antidepressants are for supporting someone so he can manage his life thus losing his depression. too bad this havent worked for me.

    i got a few friends, some of them have girlfirends and are busy all the time, some are , well society would call em dropouts or whatever.

    my best friend is a good support, but he will soon have a girlfriend and then will become pussy whipped(excuse my language). he had one big relationship in his life that broke 2 years ago, then got suicidal and with my support and from his parents got over it. so we are really befriended nowadays, but i spend quite sometime taking care of his problems. thats something i often do help others, but i cant help myself. well of course i told him that im very depressed and secxually frustrated but i guess hes bipolar or something, well he could only give me normal advices like keep looking, you deserve a girlfriend, etc because of his own mood swings sometimes comments like, well you should not have helped me back then you must think more about yourself and dont spend too much time with social dropouts. i really like spending time with him and i think he also likes when im around but anyhow soon he will have a girlfriend and i understand that he can't spend that much time dealing with my problems. (he already helped me alot the last years).
    for some reason i feel jealousy for his success, and i feel bad about that. for some reason i cant be happy for him.

    yeah and another rason for my loneliness is that im not the best talker either.
    im not completly unable to talk to girls but im not a player.
    yeah and because of this i feel suicidal quite often :(,

    thanks for listening feel free to reply your honest opinions or questions.
  2. Mayuna

    Mayuna Member

    Sorry that you're having such a hard time. It's difficult to have a relationship with a person, such as your friend, who has their own problems when you have your own. My mother is bi-polar so I understand what you mean. He is right though you need to look more after yourself then other people. I gave and gave so much of myself to others that I barely have anything left for myself. I suspect you may be suffering from the same problem.

    It's difficult when you get caught in a rut and can't seem to get out but things do get better. I know they do, I've seen it happen a few times. You just have to try and hang in there. You have strong legs to walk on you need to get up, use them and keep moving forward. That's all we can ever do.
  3. justanick

    justanick New Member

    thanks for your reply, yeah i think he is bipolar, im not a doctor, but its hard to deal with that sometimes. i really hope things get better
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