i feel nothing whats the point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by asvt, Nov 24, 2008.

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  1. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    I recently started the princes trust programme because my therapist said it would help it’s supposed to help people kind of move forward in their life. But being the way I am I don’t see a way forward it just seems so trivial I feel nothing for it. Went a way for a week on residential with the princes trust we did things like a ropes course, absailing, kayaking, and surfing. These are things people are supposed to enjoy in life and I just felt numb and bored to them. It feels like I have no spark no soul I just don’t know what to do anymore. I mean I am somewhat quiet but I do talk and get along with the people ok. Today we were talking about a 2-week work placement most of the people came up with ideas on what they wanted to do but again I just felt nothing for it and have no interests. To have something that you do over and over again everyday makes me feel worse it’s just so mundane. I need a meaning a purpose to life not to just live because we think we have to. How can you justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose? You simply can’t. I just wish I could physically talk to someone who understood it. What’s the point … Fuck it.
     
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    maybe you're ready to look within instead of with-out
    People can only be satisfied with external things providing them distraction for so long before they have to see themselves.
    Maybe you don't see anything right now I don't know. But there can be more to life than finding enjoyment in those things you mentioned.
    Spiritual at all?
     
  3. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    I want to be spiritual but i just lack the faith for something like that i am a facts person of scientific and deductable reasoning. But if i were to believe in a god i would hate and resent him and be filled with nothing but rage. If i knew for a fact that god existed i would kill myself sooner so that i would be on the next plane of existence and could plot his ultimate demise.
     
  4. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    :rofl:

    I have many times wished I could kill God too.
    You can be factual and spiritual. Don't believe anything you haven't directly experienced for yourself.

    But either way, I came across the same thing as you. Things that got other people excited and interested just didn't do it for me. And I knew it wasn't just because I was depressed, it's just because well nothing interested me. That is when I inevitably found a desire for spiritual experiences. I was an atheist before I started recognizing myself as being depressed and having an anxiety disorder.

    Just don't beat yourself up if you feel you have no interests. I've been there, I've found something. I replaced meaningless activity with meaningless activity, but eventually I found hope in God and I'm sure you can find it somewhere if not with God than somewhere!

    :heart:
     
  5. ShalenaM

    ShalenaM Well-Known Member

    If you have a skill and supporters to support you with that skill, maybe auditions or something can help you feel like you have something important to live for..
     
  6. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    I have no skill i am a useless piece of space that does nothing and can't contribute anything of meaning to this world. So why do we exist, why do we have such a dia need of self presivation these are the answers i want but they can never be obtained.
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey AVST,
    Sounds like you have seveere depression and you can't fight that alone. It takes a professional to help guide you thru it. I was really down last week, I spent two days and nights in bed. The folowing two days I would stay in bed till noon. That is unusual for me because I normally don't sleep any where near that much.
    I recommend you see a therapist because they can help you! A shrink isn't going to help all he is going to do is place you on meds and see if they don't help. Don't get me wrong it could take all three to help you thru this.
    I see a shrink, take meds, and see a therapist. Check your area and see if they don't have a mental health facility for those who don't have insurance. You can check with your regular doctor or call the hospital and ask them.
    When I was first diagnosed with seveere depression I was also diagnosed with anxiety, paranoia, irrational thinking, mood swings, and suicidal ideations. So you can imagine all the pills I have to take to fight my way thru this. I hope you get the help you need!~Joseph~
     
  8. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    i do see a therapist a CBT one and see someone else every month or two who monitors my medication. I am currently on prozac, in which the dosage was doubled and have been on citalipram and sertraline in the past but nothing helps which is why i have this deminishing hope. I want to feel better i want something to change i just don't know what.
     
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Are you in therapy? That is my recommendation. My therapist is great and has helped me quite a bit in the last three years. They teach you how to cope with life. Give it a go and see if it doesn't help you. Take Care!~Joseph~
     
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