i feel, or lack of..

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by me7, Jan 8, 2009.

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  1. me7

    me7 Guest

    I feel held down, ..like i dont exsist for me but to make others feel or exsist. its not fair.. i didnt sign up for this shit. on my own i could work, lounge, do what i want, feel my own peace with no distractions or shit from anyone else if i didnt want it.. but now. its like i cant find any peace. living entirely off of their lives, i cant touch my own. i dont dare. showing it will only let them throw their opinons and their own experiences all over my own, dampening my own breath. Why.. yet i stay.. maybe its better here, but i will never feel or touch my own personal expression and feeling. I cant dwell into my own depths here.. but ill probably live longer here or something. but i wont amount to anything. everyday i feel angered or pushed forced to do something i do not want to do. be it a simple getting up to fucking have sex, im sick of the interacting most of the time, yet...

    feeling off, all jammed up in my head and soul.. maybe letting some steam off i dont know. its just a situation far worse far more important for everyone else, and im pinned by it..
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So sorry you are feeling so awful...please know we are here and that there are many ppl who can relate to how you are feeling...big hugs, J
     
  3. me7

    me7 Guest

    its so ... i cant think, im so overwhelmed with other peoples stuff that i forget about me in the process. Like today, having to stand and listen to arguments.. i can analyise it, i can see into it and understand the bigger pictures about it and how everyone feels from each persons perspective.. but im finding myself wondering, why bother..

    you know whats depressive.. haveing to type depression backwards, why not something more positive
    donno just a rant i guess.. needing release, because walking away is not an option right now. It just isnt, but im quickly feeling backed into a corner
     
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