I feel held down, ..like i dont exsist for me but to make others feel or exsist. its not fair.. i didnt sign up for this shit. on my own i could work, lounge, do what i want, feel my own peace with no distractions or shit from anyone else if i didnt want it.. but now. its like i cant find any peace. living entirely off of their lives, i cant touch my own. i dont dare. showing it will only let them throw their opinons and their own experiences all over my own, dampening my own breath. Why.. yet i stay.. maybe its better here, but i will never feel or touch my own personal expression and feeling. I cant dwell into my own depths here.. but ill probably live longer here or something. but i wont amount to anything. everyday i feel angered or pushed forced to do something i do not want to do. be it a simple getting up to fucking have sex, im sick of the interacting most of the time, yet... feeling off, all jammed up in my head and soul.. maybe letting some steam off i dont know. its just a situation far worse far more important for everyone else, and im pinned by it..