Sorry if this is too long. The pain is getting worse. It's in my stomach and chest. I've been crying myself to sleep every night the last couple of days. The best part of my day is the end of it so I don't feel so bored and lonely. The only joy I get out of life is from a game. I play World of Warcraft. I know I'm a nerd but I love being one. I'm in a relationship but have been talking to someone who runs the guild in game and felt an attraction. I couldn't help but feel a bit attached, he'd call me beautiful and make me feel wanted. My bf does the same, but after so long (7 1/2 years) it almost feels like he has to say it. Attracting other people has been a dangerous "high" for me. I haven't cheated on him, but came close several times. It's almost as if I have to get hit on to be happy as wierd as that sounds. That makes me a horrible person. I feel like a tease because that's what I am, and I get even more depressed and feel bad about my body if I don't get attention after a while. I've noticed this guild master hitting on other girls in the guild, I mean pretty badly, and I literally feel pain. I shouldn't. I have a bf, and can't feel this way. I've tried to ignore it the past couple of days, but I honestly felt we had something. I couldn't have been more wrong. Turns out all he's interested in is casual sex with different people and I find that I can't do that. I have to feel connected to that person and that they care for me. I'm living in a fantasy world and I'm realizing what life is for me right now. I compare myself to this other girl he's attracted to and feel I have nothing. I'm feeling an eating problem coming on where I hate my body so much I obsess over my weight.