I feel really bad right now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dils, Oct 21, 2012.

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  1. dils

    dils New Member

    Hi. I've been blue for a very long time, and in later days I've started to feel worthless. Each time I see myself in the mirror I see just how ugly I am, and every negative comment I get stays in my heart forever.

    I'm an 18-year old guy who recently went to college. I'm not bullied or anything, but I don't have any "real" friends yet. I'm not stressed about that though, it's mostly the thought that I'm so weird that people dislike spending time with me.

    It's rather the stress of my studies that bring me down, I have my first exam in two days and I am completely unprepared. I've never felt more stupid than I do now, and I hate it.

    It has taken me a while to realize I really am depressed, because even though I've had suicidal thoughts on-and-off before, I've never really planned on doing anything of the sort. But now I'm here in front of my computer and crying for the first time in a really long time when I realized I couldn't sing at all as good as I had imagined. It might sound silly to get upset over that, but I've always thought that "at least I can do something". In conjunction with this, suicide has been moved from being a last resort to something I really think about.

    I hope I can get an answer, I could really use some advice.
  2. midnightstar

    midnightstar Senior Member

    Are you getting any professional help for these feelings? :hug:
  3. smiles

    smiles Member

    hey there dils. i'm in a very very similar situation. If u wana hear about mine u can read through my posts and stuff (but i don't expect u to do that). If u just want to talk to someone about college and friends or about anything u want, u can private message me or we can get on chat together sometime. I'm always here to talk and i'm pretty good at listening so just keep me in mind if u feel like talking! i hope things go well for you on your exam and that u can find some better people who u can connect with. i know it's only words on a screen but *hugs* msg me sometime.
  4. smiles

    smiles Member

    also, the way u talk about suicide is the same way i feel about it. carrying it with u, but never really thinking it was a real plausible alternative until now. i can't say for sure if it's the same for u, but i feel for me that it becomes more of a real option the less i get to talk to others about how i feel and the more i bottle it up. I guess that's why i insisted that if u want to talk i'm here for u (which i'm still insisting).
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