Hi. I've been blue for a very long time, and in later days I've started to feel worthless. Each time I see myself in the mirror I see just how ugly I am, and every negative comment I get stays in my heart forever. I'm an 18-year old guy who recently went to college. I'm not bullied or anything, but I don't have any "real" friends yet. I'm not stressed about that though, it's mostly the thought that I'm so weird that people dislike spending time with me. It's rather the stress of my studies that bring me down, I have my first exam in two days and I am completely unprepared. I've never felt more stupid than I do now, and I hate it. It has taken me a while to realize I really am depressed, because even though I've had suicidal thoughts on-and-off before, I've never really planned on doing anything of the sort. But now I'm here in front of my computer and crying for the first time in a really long time when I realized I couldn't sing at all as good as I had imagined. It might sound silly to get upset over that, but I've always thought that "at least I can do something". In conjunction with this, suicide has been moved from being a last resort to something I really think about. I hope I can get an answer, I could really use some advice.