I feel really......bad

[Chelle]

I used to feel like this all the time.
All alone and cold
But this time around it's even worse than before as all the hope I had in other people has pretty much died out.
I used to cut myself everyday but I haven't done that in over a year.
I used to do some drugs too but I've stayed away from them.
I feel like doing it again.
Anything to feel better, even if it's for a couple minutes.

 

[Syd]

I almost ended my life at one point.. it seems unreal to me that I'm still here sometimes.

What was it that caused you to lose hope in people?

 

[Chelle]

because everybody lies to me.
Or maybe they just don't know what they're saying.
Oh and my best friend's a crackhead with a boyfriend that hurts her all the time.

 

[Syd]

It took me a long time to find friends I could really trust, and I still don't have many, but it's better than when I was in highschool. I grew up with a group of friends who I felt very close to, but they slowly changed..backstabbed others and were selfish, and weren't there for me when I was down. I had to separate myself from them, there are few people I consider true friends now.. would be nice to feel part of a group again, though I have yet to find that place.

Sorry to hear about your friend.. at least you're still there for her. My HS had a lot of people like that too.. college was a much better experience for me.

 

[Syd]

I'll add something else. Experiencing these difficulties is part of learning, and you'll make new friends, and people will change for the better as they become older and adjust their lives. Right now you should focus on what makes you happy in life, and try to hang out with people who respect others, and learn from these people. You can't always change others, but you can change yourself.

 

[StPatty]

For me, college is much worse, much much worse... well it's the same, except more people are doing this--not being true friends, selling you out for next to nothing just because they know you need them. This year I'm trying to tell myself I don't need anyone like that, and here I am, not spending much time at all with people.

 

[abcdeeeehmmost]

going back never helps... finding the way forward (what a challange)... self medicated was a big hang up for me and still is...

one big circle that leads right back to feeling bad...