I feel selfish

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dd0416ak, Jan 12, 2011.

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  1. dd0416ak

    dd0416ak New Member

    I've been battling my inner demons for several months now. Life isn't what it should be and I feel like I just keep getting kicked and kicked and kicked but each day the only thing that keeps me from taking my SI a step further is the beautiful faces of my children. I can't imagine what my not being around would do to them. It makes me feel so selfish even to think about not being around for them but each day the thoughts keep coming. I don't know how to stop it, how to stop the thoughts, the pains, the feelings that drive me to that ugly place. It's a lonely place to be *sigh*
  2. NutJob

    NutJob Member

    Hey dd0416ak,

    I'm afraid I haven't got any magic solution that will somehow remove the battle you face every day - sorry about that. All I can offer is an attempt at support, for I feel exactly the same way - it somehow makes things even harder when you are fortunate enough to have people in your life that help keep you here (even though you don't want to be.) In my eyes, the fact that you are able to appreciate what no longer being around would do to your children makes you pretty amazing, because you are putting them first (and pushing aside the immense pain you constantly deal with.) For this, you have my uttmost respect, as it would be all too easy to succumb to the enticing lure of ending your life, but yet you battle on. You may not think it, but you are a :stars:

    I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you, and really hope you manage to keep going, not only for the sake of your family, but yourself too. As I'm always being reminded, things change, and I wish for much brighter days ahead for you. With love and best wishes xx
  3. dd0416ak

    dd0416ak New Member

    thank you for your support. it does mean a lot and makes me feel a little better.
    again, thank you.
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    can you say more about what is going wrong?

    have you tried any treatments or ways to deal with your problems?
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