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i feel sick to the stomach

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by darkrider, Apr 11, 2008.

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  1. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    i dont know how else to describe my state right now. i am so scared, lonely, confused, angry it is untrue. Ive been like this for so long now that I feel insignificant and immature compared to normal people and the thought of the future scares me to death.. i dont see one. why would anyone like me? i dont leave the house much to speak of but when i do i feel like everyone knows i have no confidence and they all think im immature.. is this possible? I think i might be starting to go mental. i have no money. i have intelligence and qualifications but no mind anymore.. i feel like i cant interact or think straight. Besides my family i live with I have absolutely nothing in my life apart from this goddamn computer, its got to the point im scared to leave the house or make a phone call, even summon the energy to have a conversation with anyone at times. hell come up with anything to maintain a conversation. i read through here and see similar stories but you all have something.. a bf/gf, a job, university/college.. hell even a car. At least you can drive away and escape. i have a lisence but no money because no part time job. Apart from looks and the little caring nature i have left i dont see what i could offer anyone in a relationship if i were to summon the courage to get to that stage.. this depresses me a lot especially because of my age. i dropped out of uni last year because i didnt like the course.. i want to change to something else.. but i have no idea what to do. Nothing interests me apart from whats out of my reach. i feel like im driving on empty.. I have no assurance or any kind of base in my life right now. Im in pieces
  2. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. If it helps you feel any better, know that you're not alone. I just dropped out of my university and I was laid off my part-time job. I have no bf/gf, no car, no license, and no plans. My parents are still financially supporting me, thank God, but they're getting a divorce and can't continue for long. I'm looking for another job, but all the effort involved in finding one is overwhelming right now.

    What is your interest that's out of your reach? If it's the only thing that interests you, try to pursue it anyway. I love theater myself, but no one I've met thinks of it the same way I do. It's very frustrating, but I have to keep trying because theater is the only thing that makes me want to keep on living, strange as that sounds.

    I hope you start feeling better soon. PM me if you ever want to talk. :hug:
  3. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    hey, thanks for replying

    well i was always interested in medicine career wise because of personal events, but id have to spend another year resitting exams to apply, then theres the strong possibility thwy wont accept me anyway, then there'd be the financial aspect for the next 5 years. its pretty much a non starter. Im really struggling thinking what career i want to do. My parents have about 7/8 years before they retire so im kinda like you that i need a career because time is running out. i feel really trapped at home as well and my parents have a lot on their plate. i need a part time job to move forward right now but because ive been like this for so long my anxiety has become so strong its overwhelming. i rely on other people for everything and it angers me so much. if people knew they would probably look on my as a looser but they can all die for all i care. sometimes i feel like running away like you read on the news sometimes, if i didnt have my parents and their feeling to consider i would probably do that. escape this good for nothing world full of assholes who think they know everything. from what im saying you can probably guess im in danger of imploding in on myself.. i think i only have a small amount of self control left in me.

    what was the course you dropped out of btw? are you planning to go back to uni? It's a tough place for people like us
  4. darkrider

    darkrider Well-Known Member

    its funny when i hear my parents talking.. arguing because i stay in my room all the time. my dad seems to have given up on me, i think he sees me as an embarassment. Labels me as being 'like one of those goths from school' where he works.. i dress nothing like a goth but i guess my mental state must shown through pretty strong. My mother says 'it'll pass' and 'he'll move on'.. what scares me the most is right now I feel like this will never pass. I've just turned 20 years of age and i feel like a 10 year old.
  5. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    I can totally relate to that statement, except I am 23. Sucks, doesn't it?
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