I'm healthy. It's not that kind of sickness. It's been lasting the past few days. My heart hurts, my stomache hurts, my eyes hurt, my head hurts, and the more I think about my life the worse it gets. And now that I lost the only person that mattered to me, it won't go away. I have no friends, no life, no, job, no money, when I did go to school people pushed me around and the teachers did nothing and I was always told to obey and submit to everyone and everything would be fine. Now it's gotten me here. I know I have problems. Suicide, homicidal urges, mild OCD, partial schizophrenia, seeing things that aren't there, talking to things that aren't there and I'm an ex-self injurer. Why did I SI? To hold back my homicidal urges. Solutions? 1) Doctor: No, because they'd give me anti-depressants. 2) Shrink: No because they'd do the same and or lock me up. I just don't care anymore about anything. I watch animals being skinned alive the other day and I didn't even care about that. All I feel is empty and hate 24/7 and it's destroying me from the inside. THIS is why I feel sick. How do I make it go away? I thought I knew this feeling before but this is way worse. I feel like I want to vomit but I don't. I know I'm broken but what can I do to fix it? Am I stuck like this? Will my body destroy itself more and more over time?