I feel so alone right now.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Untouchable, Mar 5, 2011.

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  1. Untouchable

    Untouchable Well-Known Member

    No one called me all day. I know my they're out having fun. I'm just sitting here wasting my life away on the computer. I'm suposed to do so many things but I can't. I've lost the motivation to do anything.

    I'm sick of crying. Don't think I have any more tears to shed.

    I feel unloved and unwanted. It's so painful. There are so many things to take care of around the house but I just can't. And I can't stop effing crying. Or wanting to just end it all and stop for good.

    I just came to realize it today:

    I'm nothing important. Sometimes, I like to think I am quite pretty, quite intelligent, and talented in music, but I just lie to myself like that so I can stay alive for all the people I'm "supposed" to stay alive for. I'm not pretty, I'm not that intelligent, and I'm no talented. I have no purpose in life.

    I don't want to see happy people anymore and pretend I'm happy for them. Truth is, I'm not. Because I never had and never will have what they have.

    Why is everyone else around where I am so lucky in their lives? Why did I have to be the one who was abused daily? The one who suffers from depression? The one who's alone?

    I just realized all the good things I used to "think" about myself are no more than an illusion I made up just to get on with life.

    Why can't I just end it all and get it over with? There's nothing scarier than going through another day.

    Who would love me anyway? Even my parents trashed me away. I must be here by mistake.

    There are so many things I wish I could be. But I can't...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are IMPORTANT you are SPECIAL you are BEAUTIFUL and TALENTED you are everything you said you were okay. The problem is somehow depression somehow game in without you noticing it. Depression is distorting all your thought now I hope you can reach out and ask your doctor to look at your meds get on some or change the ones your on maybe get some therapy to help you build yourself up again. You are not alone now okay i here you and i care and i hope you continue to post okay so others hear you and see you too. YOu can pm me anytime to just talk if you need someone okay hugs to you
  3. Untouchable

    Untouchable Well-Known Member

    Thank you very much...

    It's just...no one understands. My "friends" think it's a one time thing...they have no idea what depression is about...and when we go out, they make it even worse by ignoring me and making me feel even more invisible...I have cried so many times in public that I'm ashamed of myself...I'm embarassed to even think about it...I can't control my emotions sometimes...

    I've been going to therapy...but it can only help so far...I'm no loonger on anti depressants as I tried to overdose on them+other pills the other day..I don't trust myself and they don't trust me with pills anymore...
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    I love you and I want you to be happy!!!!!!

    please don't say bad things about yourself!!!

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

    ok, so maybe this seems cheesey, but here is a poem that I think is nice

    Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
    and remember what peace there may be in silence.

    As far as possible, without surrender,
    be on good terms with all persons.
    Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
    and listen to others,
    even to the dull and the ignorant;
    they too have their story.
    Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
    they are vexatious to the spirit.

    If you compare yourself with others,
    you may become vain or bitter,
    for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
    Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
    Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
    it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

    Exercise caution in your business affairs,
    for the world is full of trickery.
    But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
    many persons strive for high ideals,
    and everywhere life is full of heroism.
    Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
    Neither be cynical about love,
    for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
    it is as perennial as the grass.

    Take kindly the counsel of the years,
    gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
    Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
    But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
    Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

    Beyond a wholesome discipline,
    be gentle with yourself.
    You are a child of the universe
    no less than the trees and the stars;
    you have a right to be here.
    And whether or not it is clear to you,
    no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

    Therefore be at peace with God,
    whatever you conceive Him to be.
    And whatever your labors and aspirations,
    in the noisy confusion of life,
    keep peace in your soul.

    With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
    it is still a beautiful world.
    Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
  5. Chalmers

    Chalmers Well-Known Member

    We all feel alone. Those of us wiser recognize our aloneness, those less wise don't see it. When we recognize it we can understand it. Once we understand we can deal it with it better. We all deal differently no but us can see our true uniqueness. Revel in it. You are uncopyable. You are your own master. You are in control.
  6. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i have movement, i have mobility, but i dont have life.
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