I feel so alone

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lmgva123, Jun 15, 2015.

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  1. lmgva123

    lmgva123 New Member

    I went to Boston to visit my daughter and her boyfriend a month ago. We were having a nice visit. My daughter and I went out for lunch movies and shopping. She made a comment about something her boyfriend wants to do when he proposes marriage to her. I reminded her that I would like him to come speak to me before he asks her. We have had this discussion before and never had a problem . But this time she got very angry with me telling me how I was trying to control her and was treating her like property. She dropped me off at my hotel and has refused to speak to me since. She says she needs time to think about our relationship. I have asked my mother to speak with her and find out what I did to cause such a reaction. I am told tht my daughter doesn't want to end her relationship with me. However a month later still not talking and now has unfriended me from Skype. My mother has wasted no time telling me what a horrible person I am and how I deserve to lose my relationship with my daughter. I am devastated. Her father committed suicide when she was six yrs old and it has only been she and I since then until the boyfriend came in to the picture. Now I have been treated like a piece of garbage since. She has been my whole life since her father died. Now she is gone and I want my life to be over too. I cant stand to live in this much pain for the rest of my life
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    While I do not understand the cause of her being so upset about your request, I can understand that is the type of thing that is personal to her and her "to be" fiance and possibly not something that should be "asked for". While a very over the top response from her, it could be considered from some angles as imposing or controlling on others , and it is very possible that while you are the only father figure she has ever had a real relationship with she still chooses to preserve a certain memory of her deceased father and times like getting married would be natural time to be considering and wondering about him and the what ifs to do with his suicide and her life. 6 years old is young , but far from an infant also. In addition, some people truly do believe that is an archaic ritual that is demeaning to women.

    I do not know if you have tried to reach out to her, but I would suggest taking the high road, apologize for the suggestion in a card or letter and wishing her the best and that you would like to be included in any areas she is comfortable with and will leave it at that. If you have taken the high road and apologized, and instead of asking for things and contact just send cards or letters for birthdays, special occasions, and holidays as appropriate making it clear you are available to her and without asking/demanding reciprocation it will be clear in short order who is being unreasonable. It may or may not change it, but it will take away any reason to hold a grudge so long as thy are sincere notes and not asking anything of her.I would say choosing to kill self would simply over load her with guilt she is undoubtedly still feeling abut her father and convincing her she was right to never trust a father figure for not abandoning her in the most horrific way possible.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, I usually do not get emotional when reading posts here but this one in particular has brought a tear to my eye.

    Are you afraid of ''change''? Your daughter is getting married and I'd say wants her own independence and that is not something you can control. However, you can control what you do from now on, I have no idea why she would get this mad but i'd pass her on an apology and tell her that she means the world to you as she does.

    Perhaps all those memories of her father are cropping up now that she is getting married, 6 is young to lose a parent and I am so sorry for both of your losses.

    At the end of the day I'd apologise and see if ye can get on with this. Feel free to post back here and let us know how you are doing because we care.
  4. lmgva123

    lmgva123 New Member

    I have apologized for my portion of the fight and said that I would try to do a better job treating her like an adult. She apologized back and asked me to leave her alone and let her come to me when she was ready. Then she said she needed time to think and that she didn't know what to do. I asked I she was thinking about ending our relationship and she didn't respond. That was a month ago. I have not tried to contact her during that time but she unfriended me on Skype. I don't know what to do
  5. lmgva123

    lmgva123 New Member

    She has made it clear that she doesn't care about me, So I doubt that she cares if I live or die
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