I feel so alone

Discussion in 'I Need Empathy and Compassion (No advice wanted)' started by kk2000, Oct 13, 2016.

  1. kk2000

    kk2000 Member

    Throughout my life, I have went through many traumatic things. Being as young as I am, I have never met anyone who understands what I've been through. It makes me feel hopeless that I'll always be truly alone
    Thauoy likes this.
  2. jake.007

    jake.007 Active Member

    kk2000, i am so sorry that you are having a bad time and have suffered through difficult things. and i'm sure that this is not the response that you are looking for (and i'm sure it will be universally dismissed), but i am not sure that life is meant to be a team sport. we come in alone, we go out alone, and each of ours is the only name on the scoresheet. the truth is that we can love people and surround ourselves with friends and family and all other manner of people with whom we can celebrate and commiserate, as circumstances warrant. in the end, though, our lives and what we choose to do with them is strictly up to us, individually. we cannot control fully if and when bad things (or good things happen); some of that is "chance," some is fallout from the choices made by other people within whose blast radius we happen to wander. but we can control whether our lives matter, whether we have value (which, of course, each of us define subjectively). don't spend your time worrying over whether you will be "truly alone." that approach is virtually guaranteed to rain stress and unhappiness down upon you. accept that we all play this game alone, and spend your energy finding and pursuing those things that matter to YOU . . . the things for which you have true passion . . . the things that will give your life meaning and value, and will make you successful, however you choose to define those concepts. if you do, i can promise you that, along that journey, you will find people whose beliefs, ideals, values align with your own, and those will be the people with whom you celebrate and commiserate. they will help you up when you fall, just as you will help them up. they will push you when you stall, and run with you. and that will be enough. it will happen organically as you chase whatever purpose you choose to assign to your life.
    dugga, kk2000 and JustCan'tQuit like this.
  3. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hugs. Here if you want to talk.
    kk2000 likes this.
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Welcome to forum and the SF family. First, wow what a post for such a young person. You are right in what you have written. As we grow up each year we learn from live experiences and try to become the better person as well as helping others. I understand that you may be down but YOU are young in age and have the rest of your life in front of YOU.

    If you want to expand what's causing you pain, then please elaborate further. We can help you in a text based support but have spoken to a high school counsellor about your feelings as they will respect your privacy.

    Please feel free to speak to others in the chat room, you will be safe here as no one will judge you. Have you spoken to your parents, I'm assuming it possible to do. We will never meet but just think there is someone in the world who cares about YOU.

    You are low at the moment but perhaps it might be down to confidence. You are important as you are a fellow human being who is hurting like us here on the forum.

    kk2000 likes this.
  5. Cariad_Bach

    Cariad_Bach Staff Alumni

    No one is alone here. Keep posting x
    kk2000 likes this.
  6. PhoenixFailed

    PhoenixFailed Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017 Study Facilitator SF Supporter

    I know how paralyzing that feeling of being alone and not being understood is. I hope for you that you find connection here as well as in other places in your life. You are brave for reaching out and trying to connect with people here. There are many people who are also looking to connect despite the pain and risk.
    kk2000 likes this.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Keep talking to us, you will soon realise that you are not alone. Are you in therapy of any sort or have you seen a professional? I get the feeling from your post that you are scared to talk, I could be wrong but want to say there's no need to be scared here, you will not be judged. Please keep us updated on how you are doing. There is a lot of people here who understand and care and will want to support you the best they can. Wishing you the best of luck and hope you are enjoying the weekend. There is no giving up, it's not allowed :)
    kk2000 likes this.
  8. kk2000

    kk2000 Member

    Thank you all for the encouragement, it really helps to know that someone cares. I was born to a drug addicted prostitute. When I was 3, my uncle sexually abused me. He continued doing it and my grandfather did the same as well. When I was 6, Child Protective Services came and took my younger brother and I away and put us into foster care. For six years I went from home to home while my brother lived with one family who eventually adopted him. When I was 10 my foster brother raped me. But finally at 13 I found a family of my own. But it wasn't the happy ending I was expecting. 4 months after the adoption was finalized my new parents got a divorce. During that time I was also dealing with a lot of bullying. I've suffered from depression since I was about 8 years old. I've had so much therapy I could be a therapist myself. Ever since I was 6 I've been on medication. Last year I decided that the pain wasn't getting better. So in June of last year I tried to <mod edit - method>. But my mom found me and saved me in time. Two months later I did it again, and once again I was saved by my mother. Since then, I've stopped trying to kill myself, at least for her. But everyday is a struggle. I continue to fight each day because I know I'm a survivor. I know that the moment I give up on myself, I would be giving up on all the people who have ever cared enough to be there for me, and believe me there's a lot.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 4, 2016
    Thauoy likes this.
  9. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support SF Artist SF Supporter

    Hey my friend, you've been through so much and I'm so sorry it happened. Always remember that people here care for you so you're never really alone. Keep posting and we'll do our best to support you, sometimes just writing about it and knowing others hear you, makes a difference.
    kk2000 and Unknown_111 like this.
  10. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    We will never judge you but we always care about you as your deserved to be cared about. Remember our emotional scars makes us stronger for tomorrow. Respect to you my friend and as Brian777 says keep posting as you are important to us.

    Today might be hopeless but tomorrow is a new day and we start a fresh.
    Brian777 likes this.
  11. kk2000

    kk2000 Member

    I feel like it's not worth it anymore, this has been one of the worst years of my life, and thats saying something considering the life i have had. I know its going to get better, but when? Im so tired of waiting for it to get better
  12. PhoenixFailed

    PhoenixFailed Survivor of 2016, Fighter in 2017 Study Facilitator SF Supporter

    It can be hard to wait, but I have never regretted waiting in the long run. I am 44 now... Please hang in there and keep posting. We are here for you!
    kk2000 likes this.
  13. Innocent Forever

    Innocent Forever Go as long as you can. And then take another step. Chat Pro SF Supporter

    You're definitely right about what you said, that you're a survivor. That you're strong, and brave. You are so worth it.... Keep at it. It does get easier if you put the work in...
    kk2000 likes this.
  14. walker95

    walker95 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Social Media SF Supporter

    hey there KK
    Sounds like you've already lived a lot of life for being 16. I don't know that I blame you for feeling the way that you feel but I sure hope you can see your way out of the real despair in order to live your life out to it's fullest. Things do get better over time, for real. Being young is kind of lame, it's more interesting as you get older.
    Keep coming back and chatting people up, ok? Looking forward to seeing you around.
    kk2000 likes this.
  15. Free@Last

    Free@Last Well-Known Member

    You are young I am old I cant say i have gone through the same as you but I can tell you thatThings were not great for me at your age but I got this far and overall I think it was worth it
    kk2000 likes this.