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i feel so anxious about being “perceived”

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#1
Is this a common thing? Being aware that other people perceive my existence really scares me for some irrational reason. Sometimes realizing that other people know me, that I exist, is so terrifying to the point it gives me anxiety attack and dissociation.

Sometimes I reach a point where looking into the mirror and touching myself just feels dead impossible. I can’t stand the idea of people knowing me, acknowledging my presence, talking about me to others, and basically having their own version of me. I don’t know how to explain it but sometimes being in this body, viewing the world in first person, and having emotions often drive me mad with fear.

Why am I like this? What can I do?
 

Dark111

Scholar's Mate
SF Supporter
#3
Is this a common thing? Being aware that other people perceive my existence really scares me for some irrational reason. Sometimes realizing that other people know me, that I exist, is so terrifying to the point it gives me anxiety attack and dissociation.

Sometimes I reach a point where looking into the mirror and touching myself just feels dead impossible. I can’t stand the idea of people knowing me, acknowledging my presence, talking about me to others, and basically having their own version of me. I don’t know how to explain it but sometimes being in this body, viewing the world in first person, and having emotions often drive me mad with fear.

Why am I like this? What can I do?
The way you describe it makes me think of a phobic reaction. I'm not sure what to make of your own perceptions of yourself being distressing, but do the perceptions of others make you feel a loss of control?
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#5
The way you describe it makes me think of a phobic reaction. I'm not sure what to make of your own perceptions of yourself being distressing, but do the perceptions of others make you feel a loss of control?
Hi :) yes, I too thought it might have been a phobic reaction. I believe that the thought of other people perceiving me is really overwhelming. Not sure how to explain it well, but yeah. :(
 

lifetalkz

Well-Known Member
#6
I think that most (if not ALL) of us have wrong ideas about other people...who they really are, what they're really like when no one is watching. It's best not to to judge others, it's none of our business-but we always do. What you're describing is a form of paranoia that can become overwhelming over time. The truth is that we can't control what other people think about us, when we're struggling with low self esteem to begin with or have an uncertain relationship with ourselves it can be very off-putting. I hope that you're seeing someone about these issues that can help you sort them out so that you can begin to feel better about yourself. Best wishes-LT
 

auburnfrog

Well-Known Member
#7
I think that most (if not ALL) of us have wrong ideas about other people...who they really are, what they're really like when no one is watching. It's best not to to judge others, it's none of our business-but we always do. What you're describing is a form of paranoia that can become overwhelming over time. The truth is that we can't control what other people think about us, when we're struggling with low self esteem to begin with or have an uncertain relationship with ourselves it can be very off-putting. I hope that you're seeing someone about these issues that can help you sort them out so that you can begin to feel better about yourself. Best wishes-LT
Hi! :)

Oh, yes, I completely understand that I would never, you know, in a sense, understand other people. Judging, of course, I can’t help but do - but I do so quietly. Haha. It doesn’t matter what people think of me. I find it a little strange that I simply don’t care what adjective people use to describe me, but I find it stressful, the fact that these people ‘know’ me. Or even, recognize me. Even a minute thought of strangers having seen me and acknowledged my presence can be shaking sometimes.

But, whether they think I’m ‘bad’ or ‘good’ or whatever, it doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is strangely something much simpler and much less conventionally terrifying than that. Which is, yes, being known, perceived, acknowledged. It makes me feel alien in my own body, I don’t know. It’s very strange and I’m also still trying to understand, so if you find all of this confusing, don’t feel bad, I’m with you.

I’d love to see a therapist or doctor but it’s unfortunately not an option for me at the moment.
 

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