I feel so ashamed

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Autumn01, Oct 27, 2013.

  1. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    I feel so ashamed.
    I'm still a virgin but last night I went out with my ex boyfriend and afterwards I went back with him to his place and of course we ended up playing around. I'm so stupid- I should of just gone home and done that at a later time if we keep dating. Again still a virgin but I feel like such a slut. I feel like trash. I'm so dumb. I don't know why I make such stupid decisions. I have low self esteem so that is why I feel like I'm not worthy of respect. I'm just even more depressed now. I just want to end my life that is my Christmas wish. I plan to do so right after Christmas.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 27, 2013
  2. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Woah okay - You are not a slut and you are not trash - your feelings in both those areas are 100% wrong. Everyone makes stupid decisions - I have made some spectacularly dumb decisions myself over the years for sure. It is very easy to want someone or something enough that it gets in the way of good decision making. But no harm was done - not really. Your body and what you do with it is your business. Choosing to play around with a guy doesn't make you a slut or trash. Don't be so hard on yourself :hug:
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Autumn. Slow down please.. You did nothing that wrong and no long term harm..you need to put some thought into whether or not you want any more being around the ex boyfriend.. You are very human and the person you give your body to should be someone that you really love and plan having a long term relationship with..

    Got any older female friends that you can talk with? Please stop torturing yourself over the other night.. No need to be thinking suicide now.. Just be a bit careful from now on....
  4. ravens

    ravens Life is good.

    Im a virgin too, but really, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of having non-committed sexual relationships with people if its what you want to do. Nothing wrong with that AT ALL, it does not make a person 'dirty' just because society thinks you need to be married or dating. If thats not what you want though, then its okay to forgive yourself, we all make mistakes sometimes. You deserve to forgive youself and you are definitely not a slut in any way. You ARE worthy of respecting yourself!
  5. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Thank you Freya, jimk and ravens for trying to help me feel better. :) Big Hugs
  6. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    Hey, thought I'd speak a bit from this side too. Personally speaking, as has already been mentioned, it is totally up to you what you want to do with your body, I'd say just be safe and do what you feel okay with. It is okay to do sexual things if you want, and note that it is also okay not to, if you don't feel comfortable with the person or situation. And nobody has any right to say anything about either decision.
    I think it is normal to feel the way you do though, this is just something you have to work with and get used to. Personally, I have had 4 one-night stands and one 'fuck buddy' [just to mention], and at times I feel dirty or loose but when I really think about it, I do not regret any of these encounters. And why should it matter to anyone else what I do with my own body as long as I'm not causing anyone [including myself] physical and/or mental harm.
    If anyone says something bad to you about this, eat them >;D
  7. ravens

    ravens Life is good.

    I hope you are feeling better about yourself, you deserve to!
  8. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Thank you truthhurts :)

    We had dated so I guess I wouldn't say it was a one night stand but I still felt ashamed for having made out with him again since I know he is not the right guy for me.

    I hope you aren't ashamed either :)
    We all deserve affection and love :)
  9. Autumn01

    Autumn01 Well-Known Member

    Hi ravens,

    I am feeling better about that night.
    Thank you :)