I really do.. Could not even sleep last night and still do not see how i am going been up for 27 hours straight. I guess i could use some prayers and good vibes my way. Saturday night i rode with the city police for a whole 8 hour shift from 2pm till 10pm. Went with them to serve papers and made a few stops, wrote a few tickets. Well a little before 9 pm the officer i rode with and one other officer decided to go serve some papers on a guy that was out in an apartment complex. So i am sitting in the patrol car while they go up to the door and then go inside, and i am still sitting inside the car and after a few minutes where the patrol car is facing there is this window and here a guy pushes out the window, jumps out and takes off running behind the buildings. The officers that went inside have not yet come out and i have not heard them say anything on the radio that they are code 4 ( okay ) As a ride along i am required not to use the radio and after knowing what happened in roan county when the deptys went to serve papers they were bushwacked and killed. I did not know if the two officers that had went inside were okay or if another guy was in there and had them at gunpoint, or if he had shot them and they were in their bleeding to death. I also know that with me not being armed or having any weapons except what was behind me in the patrol car so i did not even attempt to go inside and if they were someone else inside and if i were to go inside they would get me, so i picked up the radiop and told that the guy had jumped out of the window and ran. After doing that the officers came out and i knew that they were okay, we then looked for the guy but he eluded us. Well we went back to the station and the sergent wanted to talk to me. he said he was not mad at me or anything and that my heart was in the right place. He also said that i was the only person who ever did that since the academy had started. i was not supposed to use the radio. I did not know what else to do. i did not want the officers to be in there dying or hurt and not get any help. Anyhow he sent the captian and email and i have not slept since. I have 2 more weeks left and i don't know if i should continue the last 3 hours and then go to the graduation. I have a lot of concern for officers and the law and i did not want them to be in there dying or hurting and need help. I just feel so bad. i do not know if i will even go back because i do not know what the captian will say to me. How can i face them now?