I feel so bad right now.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by White Dove, Nov 7, 2010.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    I really do.. Could not even sleep last night and still do not see how i am going been up for 27 hours straight.

    I guess i could use some prayers and good vibes my way.

    Saturday night i rode with the city police for a whole 8 hour shift from 2pm till 10pm. Went with them to serve papers and made a few stops, wrote a few tickets. Well a little before 9 pm the officer i rode with and one other officer decided to go serve some papers on a guy that was out in an apartment complex. So i am sitting in the patrol car while they go up to the door and then go inside, and i am still sitting inside the car and after a few minutes where the patrol car is facing there is this window and here a guy pushes out the window, jumps out and takes off running behind the buildings. The officers that went inside have not yet come out and i have not heard them say anything on the radio that they are code 4 ( okay ) As a ride along i am required not to use the radio and after knowing what happened in roan county when the deptys went to serve papers they were bushwacked and killed. I did not know if the two officers that had went inside were okay or if another guy was in there and had them at gunpoint, or if he had shot them and they were in their bleeding to death. I also know that with me not being armed or having any weapons except what was behind me in the patrol car so i did not even attempt to go inside and if they were someone else inside and if i were to go inside they would get me, so i picked up the radiop and told that the guy had jumped out of the window and ran.

    After doing that the officers came out and i knew that they were okay, we then looked for the guy but he eluded us.

    Well we went back to the station and the sergent wanted to talk to me. he said he was not mad at me or anything and that my heart was in the right place. He also said that i was the only person who ever did that since the academy had started. i was not supposed to use the radio. I did not know what else to do. i did not want the officers to be in there dying or hurt and not get any help. Anyhow he sent the captian and email and i have not slept since.

    I have 2 more weeks left and i don't know if i should continue the last 3 hours and then go to the graduation. I have a lot of concern for officers and the law and i did not want them to be in there dying or hurting and need help. I just feel so bad. i do not know if i will even go back because i do not know what the captian will say to me.

    How can i face them now?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    He will not be mad he will see your concern and understand.
  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Well i braved it and went in to class prepared for the worse and willing to accept what ever would be thrown at me and take whatever and prepared to explain it if needed as to why i had used the 2 way radio in the patrol car at that time. And to my surprice nothing was actually said to me At the time this happened i was in the car both officers had went inside and after a few minutes the guy jumped out the window and ran. The officers were still inside. I did not know if both of them were okay or if they had been knocked out and i kind of hesitated before picking up the mike and if they had been stabbed or shot or? So i made a judgement call because You can die within a matter of minutes if it had hit an artery and when they did not call in to say they were okay i got really concerned for them and picked up the mike. After that they came out and i suppose i should have waited to do that and see if they would come out but it only takes a few minutes to die if they are bleeding inside and all. I am just thankful that they were okay because if they had been stabbed or knocked out and i had not of done that and they had died i would be blamming myself for not doing anything. But i am thankfull it all went okay and they were both fine. Like the sergent said my heart was in the right place i assume because i cared enough to pick up the radio and all. I guess i can sleep now lol.. All that worry i did about what the captian would say to me was for nothing

    Well last night tonight so we graduate and get to get our photos in the paper Herald Citizen.. They going to take our photos for the paper this next monday evening. 10 weeks training and over 30 hours for this course so i suppose you can see us in the herald citizen next tuesday
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Glad this worked out for you...J
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    congratulations on finsihing the course and for having the courage to go in way to go
  6. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member


    I figurered i might as well go on in because it is what i want to do to be in police as an officer or criminal justice as anything else and it has nothing to do with money or income because officers really do not make that much. for me the reason i want to is because i really truly care for people.

    I was put in a situation where i had to make a judgement call and maybe it was a mistake but i would have rather taken the chance on that mistake then not to do anything and them to die or hurt real bad. And i was willing to explain it and still can if ever asked that i made a judgement call because i had no idea they were okay inside that apartment.

    I know the sergent told me i was the only person ever to do that in all the classes they have had before ( 21 classes of at least 20 people or more per class ) so i kind of feel kind of odd but i do not think i would change what i did if i had the chance to. Thank you both for the kind replys
  7. Prophet

    Prophet Well-Known Member

    You did the right thing and I'm glad it worked out for you.

    Everything you said is correct, they went in, he came out alone, anything could of happened. A stabbing makes no sound and in certain parts of the body, you will be dead within 11 seconds.

    Be proud you made the right call under pressure. No one knows how they will react under real pressure and you did well.
  8. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the kind reply.

    I know the sergent when he talked to me said he was not mad at me but at the same time kind of repremended me, ( not sure if i spelt that right ) and that i made a mistake. He said they make mistakes too but also that i was the only one who has ever did that, but i did not want them to be inside dying.. the door was shut and they were not talking at all on the radio. He also said that he had thought they had gotten shot because all he heard on the radio was when i said the guy is running.. i guess it kind of scared him? i don't know but if given the chance to do it again i would probably do the same thing.
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