just heard that one of my best friend's friends killed himself last week. actually i read it in the paper when it happened but didn't put it together at the time. he left behind a wife (the wife has been friends with my friend for over 30 years, since grade school.), she is totally devastated. i feel conflicted because of the circumstances. he was arrested the day before his suicide for making and distributing child pornography. wtf. now that he's dead we'll never know what or why. was he like pete townsend, curious and downloading images, even though it is illegal? was it something more sinister? i find it very disturbing. i feel sad and angry and confused. i'm all jumbled up. i wish my therapist wasn't on vacation. i really need to talk to her about this. i want to support my friend. she is really upset. she was almost crying when i talked to her earlier tonight. she really liked the guy. she made a point of telling me that that he was a really good guy. if he was so good why would he be looking at kiddy porn? i just don't get it. thanks for listening.