I feel so dead inside

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by TheVoid, Oct 4, 2011.

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  1. TheVoid

    TheVoid Member

    I'm so scared. I'm scared of how dead I feel inside. I want to feel something, be it it happiness or anger or love or hurt or fun or laughter or pain or anything, I just want to feel. I've been hoping for so long that one day I will turn back on and I will feel alive again, but I don't and I am so scared that I will never feel alive again. Will I ever feel real? I would be OK if I felt pain, but I just feel nothing. I think of my future, be it a great future with a career and loving family or me ending my life in the next few weeks, and either way I feel nothing, and I am absolutely terrified. Somebody, please, help me feel alive. If this is what being alive feels like, I don't see how being dead could feel any different.
     
  2. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    Can you remember things you used to do and found to be fun? Do them. Put on a funny movie. See a therapist.
     
  3. Vitreledonellidae

    Vitreledonellidae Well-Known Member

    Hi Void,
    Im sure you will feel something, you will feel alive again. At least you're scared, thats something right.. I dont really know how I can help you, I wish I could. I remember you from chat a few weeks ago, you gave the chatroom such a positive energy, it cheered me up. What helps me when I feel so dead inside, is go for a long walk in the woods or near the sea, discover new parts, spot animals, enjoying the nature, thinking things true, feel the wind or the sun on your skin. I know this sounds all so, whats the word, spiritual and vague or something, I'm not sure. But I think its just being aware of the little things. I used to be on anti-depressants and when I quit them, I suddenly was more aware of those little things, I kinda felt like a child again, started climbing in trees again, laying in the grass, spotting insects, lol, sorry I ramble too much and Im a little bit scared I come over as the vague spiritual hippy. Im just hoping I can somehow motivate you and that it maybe even helps you.
    Like Anne said, you could also just look back, to what you used to like to do, maybe drawing or painting. I dont really recommend movies, unless its horror. I just find theres nothing better to see spoiled/narrowminded/self obsessed/stupid teenagers getting killed >.< Or maybe some southpark or family guy, dont know if you are into that, but its never really romantisizing life and the happy endings. Anyway with most movies I always feel worser, because it often makes me realise how much is wrong with my own life and all the things I dont have and never accomplished or will accomplish.
    I truly hope you will feel alive again. And Im sorry if all what I said doesnt make any sense or wont work or is just plainly stupid.
     
  4. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

    I feel one of the best remedies for this is to talk to people. I have the same issue. If I'm left alone, I feel numb and unhuman, but friends distract me because we're usually just dicking around. It will only help while you're talking to someone, but sometimes it can help remind you that you can feel.
     
  5. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    Hey hun,
    I think seeing someone about this is a good idea. Or even just talk to a family member or trusted friend. Be around people. :hug: Also find something you enjoy and do it over and over. =)
     
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