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I feel so degraded and humilated *possibly triggering*

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Petal, Dec 13, 2011.

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  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Long story short, I was raped by a 30 something year old man when I was 12. I kept quiet until last year, I made a statement last march, he then tried to commit suicide, since then I've kept in touch with the guards(police). They've told me that they believe me and that they believe he is lying. That day in 2002, I was supposed to babysit his child but his wife decided not to go out but I continued to stay at the house. I was laying in bed and he came into the room, where he molested me all night long, that morning he made me go into another room where he raped me. What's happening now is everyone I mentioned in the statement has been questioned and the file is going to the director of public prosecutions , they will decide what to do. I feel so humiliated. I don't know what to do. When they read out my statement I'm going to be so embarrassed and humiliated as the statement is so detailed, what am I to do?!?!, I really need some help and support with this.

    Thanks for reading and I look forward to reading your replies x
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Be proud that you were strong emough to take this to the police to begin with - if nothing else you have probably saved other young girls from a similar fate. Be strong know you have the support of loved ones both there and here and be proud that you are making him afraid now.
  3. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Ben said it perfectly.

    I am so proud of you! Hold your head up high!
  4. Raven

    Raven Guest

    In the end you are doing what needs to be done, I know it is hard but getting people like this locked and hopefully the key thrown away. I know it is hard, something I could never imagine, but you are doing a brave thing and I hope the best for you.
  5. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    i dont have any personal experience of this issue but i just wanted to say you have absolutely done the right thing in reporting this person.I know its gonna be very stressfull and upsetting but you can get through this,hope youve got good family and friends to help you get through.It goes without saying that everyone on here is and will be rooting for you:grouphug:
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You make sure you have someone beside you you look him straight in the eyes and let him see your pain okay He probably won't have the guts to look at you though You have nothing to be ashamed of hon all the shame goes to his corner okay He is to carry that shame not you hugs
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thanks everyone for replying. :) Your replies have made me feel much better xox I know in the bottom of my heart that ye're right, I just have to make myself believe it.
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    First of big :hug: for you Lynn. You are so brave and strong by finding the courage and strength to report this animal and you have absolutely done the right thing. You should not feel ashamed or humiliated, you should stand tall and strong and be proud of you. The only person who will be humiliated is him and I hope they throw the book at him so he gets what he deserves. Sounds like you have a good support network at home with your boyfriend and don't forget you have us, always :hug:
  9. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    The victim is not the one who should feel ashamed! You are a sweet caring person who was a victim of someone's horrific behavior...you did what is right and you should feel proud that you stood up for yourself and did not continue to be a victim to his violation...I am so sorry you are going through this and if you want...I am available by text during the hearing, so I can be there in spirit...we care so much about you...try to remember how much you are adored here and IRL...big hugs from Brooklyn!
  10. xEmmax

    xEmmax Member

    You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and no-one at the hearing is going to think that your story is embarrassing at all. I can only imagine how hard it must be to go through what you're going through, but you should feel so proud that you've found the courage to speak out against this evil man and potentially prevented many others from suffering what you have suffered.
    All the best x
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you all! I'm feeling much better about the whole situation now and proud that I spoke out when he did so that this monster cannot do the same to another child. I will keep you all updated on how the case is going. x
  12. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    You are very welcome Lynn, here for you anytime. Massive :hug:
  13. hatch

    hatch Member

    Somewhere out there is another girl who is having this done to her. Maybe she will hear your statement and stand up right now and make her own. Maybe she will see what you've done and know it's okay to stand up and do the same. You didn't cause this, this burden was put on you and you've got to shoulder this thing for just a little while longer. You're strong enough for this burden, and it's not much farther you need to carry it. You've got to finish it, we're all behind you.
  14. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    You have nothing to be ashamed of.. You are the victim and you are strong because you're doing whats right. I agree with total eclipse, that you should look him in the eyes and show him that you're strong and you're not scared of him.
  15. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thanks all :hug: Ye are right!
  16. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Definitely courageous and not a victim but a survivor. :arms:
  17. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear Lynn,

    I am so sorry that this incident happened and that you have to deal with this... but I agree 100% with all of the validating responses above. The jerk deserves all that's coming - it better be a lot of time without seeing the light of day - and I am so proud of you for doing the right thing. Keep your spirits up! ((Hugs))

    Much love from Alex. :]
  18. faye

    faye New Member

    You should be so proud of yourself that you've had the courage to make a statement! You shouldn't feel embarrassed or humiliated, because you've potentially saved another young girl from the hands of this animal, and having the power to stand up against someone that's done this is a trait to be admired. Stay strong, the world is a better place with people like you in it x
  19. wallflower

    wallflower Well-Known Member

    I agree, it's a good thing that you reported this to the authorities. Without doing anything, it's never resolved. I had a situation where I was gang-raped by a group of people who also went to the same college, and there was a person who took footage of it on his cellphone, then showed it to his gf later who told him it was sick. I got his number then tracked him down and reported it the same night. The police weren't able to do anything although they tried. but two of the students involved voluntarily left the college instead of going through a hearing and further humiliating themselves. It's frustrating because the police didn't give me all the information but the college was supportive. I was really traumatized, because I was drunk when it happened and I didn't know it was rape even though I pushed them off me and told them to stop. I'm just surprised they didn't end up all going to jail. More could've been done, but I feel somewhat better knowing they aren't on campus.
  20. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I'm glad that you had the courage to go through with this Lynn. I'm sure you will be saving another child from being attacked. :hug:
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