I feel so empty...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Sapphicgamer, Nov 12, 2010.

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  1. Sapphicgamer

    Sapphicgamer Member

    I've tried so many antidepressants... The sadness and anxiety give me constant minor health problems, I never feel quite right. I'm so tired of medicine and counseling... I feel lonely even surrounded by friends and/or family, people who love and care about me... Yet I feel like such a useless burden... I just want to go to sleep and never wake up...
  2. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I so hear you on this one. I get sick and tired of the amount of pills I'm on, the endless changes of dosage to try and find the right one. The endless trips to the doctor (I'm due there in 45 minutes) and the psych unit. The endless weeks spent in bed because I haven't the energy nor the inclination to do anything else. Constantly feeling like a burden to my family.
    However! This is the illness talking and you have to recognise it as that. When it gets this bad, all you can do is take one day at a time and remember that you do have people who love you and friends who care.
    I've found that by being much more open about my illness with my family and friends, I'm able to deal with those times more easily. If I'm having a bad time, they give me the time and space to recover.
    Hang on in there and stay strong. You'll get good days again. x
  3. AloneButNot

    AloneButNot Member

    I know exactly how you feel. I constantly feel useless and alone, even when I am around people. You have to hang in there. I do because of my children. Find a reason to hang on and hold to it with all of your might.
  4. Sapphicgamer

    Sapphicgamer Member

    I wish I had such a reason...
  5. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    What reason would you like to have? Think about it and ask yourself what would make you want to hang on. x
  6. Sapphicgamer

    Sapphicgamer Member

    So far the best I can come up with is that I don't want my mother to go through the trauma of finding me dead...
  7. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    As the mother of a daughter who self harms I think that is a good reason to hang on. No matter what she does or how much we fight I love her madly - maybe your mother feels the same? X
  8. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Then you have a mother that you love. That's a good start, what else? What would you like to have in the future?
  9. Sapphicgamer

    Sapphicgamer Member

    Ehm... I've always wanted to know what it's like to have a love life... I'm 21 btw...
  10. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Then why don't you wait for one?
  11. Sapphicgamer

    Sapphicgamer Member

    I get so anxious, I end up with horrible throwing-up-stomach-acid heartburn when I go on dates... It's hard enough to find girls that like girls, much less finding one that can handle my level of crazy...
  12. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    These negative thoughts that are bringing you down are lies. You are not useless of a burden. A lot of people jump into life and try to make the best of it with what little they know about it. I was guilty of this. It wasn't until I was 25 that I finally asked for the answers and guidance in a prayer and I recieved it. Love is real and it is out there, the problem is that people get love and lust confused and then they continually get dissapointed. It took much spiritual seekings and enlightenment for me to find out what love is truly all about. Hope this helps.. Blessings..
  13. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    That's just a mild version (or perhaps not so mild) of a panic attack. It's like getting stage fright. You can get help from your doctor for that in the form of a low dose beta blocker. Or alternatively you can learn some sort of breathing exercise to calm you down. That option is cheaper and better for you.
    Recognise it as a symptom of your illness and treat it as such.

    I don't know where you live or what's available there. In the city that I live in, we have a thriving LGBT community which we're very proud of. I don't know if there's anything like that where you live.
    What there should be is some sort of charity that deals with LGBT issues. Volunteer to help there, you'll meet lots of like minded people. You'll make some great friends and the best relationships are the ones that begin as friendships.
    Also, you're not going to be the only one with issues. 'Coming out' is incredibly difficult for most people so they know what it's like to have mental health problems. As long as you're open and honest and explain your limitations, people will be happy to accept you for who you are. Don't be afraid of trying.
    Do you have any LGBT friends?
  14. DeepEmz

    DeepEmz Well-Known Member

    Have you tried joining any dating sites?
  15. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i think volunteering with a LGBT organization is a great idea. you are doing something good, plus you will meet lots of people in a no-pressure situation.

    there is a girl out there for you, you just haven't met her yet.
  16. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    Been feeling like Im alone a lot too.. Its because we isolate ourselves with our problems and feel that no one can help so why bother.. I wish people could truly understand one another and not be so cold harded and pretend.. or avoid others..

    Wish I was of more help..
  17. Sapphicgamer

    Sapphicgamer Member

    It doesn't help that I get afraid of people... It's not logical... I'm just always afraid...
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