I feel so helpless and lost...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lostbutterfly, Dec 10, 2011.

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  1. lostbutterfly

    lostbutterfly Member

    I know that I am in the majority of people who feel that way on this site, so I guess because of that, I feel like it is no big deal I feel this way. I have never cried so hard as I have today. I am home alone and I have already started taking some aspirin, partly because my heads hurts so bad from crying and partly because I want to keep taking them until I feel nothing anymore. I know logically that is very stupid and the odds of me dieing from that are very slim, but I have other pills I want to take too. I know that from past experience and what I have read online, taking pills is probably the least effective way to kill yourself. But I get some solace in taking them thinking that maybe, just maybe it will work this time.

    I am crying out so hard and want someone, anyone to hear me and be an angel for me, but no one is there. And I feel even more lost and alone knowing all I can do is cry and feel like dieing and there is no one who cares.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Pills do harm you hun they will shut down some of your organs and make life even more painful for you I just want to let you know I hear you hun and you are not alone now okay You keep posting so others hear you too hun If you get to down hun you call crisis line talk to a real voice okay someone that can give you the means to cope hugs
     
  3. lostbutterfly

    lostbutterfly Member

    Thank you. It is nice to know someone out there in this world hears me and understands. I am totally and utterly lost and hurt right now. I cannot even function. All I can do is cry ....
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    well hun crying is a good thing i found it so hard to cry at first but now tears they just fall and i don't stop them It is easier to just let the pain out So just let themcome okay and keep posting it helps hun it does
     
  5. lostbutterfly

    lostbutterfly Member

    I want to believe it is a good thing... but when I cry so hard it hurt physically and emotionally and I feel like I am literally dieing, I don't see that as a good thing. I have posted at least 6 times on my other thread, just because I have so many things going through my mind right now and want to get it out, but it doesn't seem to be helping either, because I feel like there is no one there to listen and even if there was someone there to listen, I feel like it would not matter anyway. I feel like it was all in vain. I feel like all I am doing is just writing a bunch of words that no one else cares about.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun so many are suffering here it is sometimes hard for them to see outside their own pain i see you now hun so you know you are being heard okay yes sometimes one does get so physically drained hun from releasing the sadness but it takes more energy holding it all in. i know that much you keep posting okay on all forum so people get to see you and know you and go to chat make new friends there hun You can always pm as well hun okay I am off to work now but just know i care
     
  7. lostbutterfly

    lostbutterfly Member

    Thanks. I appreciate it. I hope this passes... I do not want to feel this way anymore.
     
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