its took me years to go to the doctors and they seem like even they dont wanna know.Ive been on the tablets , been given loads more to make me go away and stick to it a bit, enough to do something harmful and yet i dont know what to do . ive been on the waiting list for counciling since november and after struggling though every week i dont know what to do, even today i was told my admin at the at docs that an important document was lost on the way from an assesment person to the doctors after ringing up to see whats what. Looks like i might have to wait a good few weeks again. I only cope hour by hour n not even moment by moment, i poured my heart out to a woman the other week ( i never talk to anyone) to be told she cant do ne thing for me , i have to go to someone else ...more waiting. im starting to loose my 2 best friends and sound like a broken record and have uncontrolable emotions right now. Im strggling to keep my chin up enough at work to keep my job in an enviroment that doesnt help my feelings and i just dont know what to do. i keep telling myself that im being stupid or that there are millions worse off than me but i cant help the way i feel n cant cope the way i am for much longer. i need change ... but how?