i feel so ready to die . . .

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by melgrj7, Jul 16, 2009.

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  1. melgrj7

    melgrj7 Member

    . . . every day. I just wish my heart would stop beating, just stop on its own. I struggle to stay alive, I am defective its not normal to wish to die. Many moments every day I catch myself thinking it would be a good time, and wishing my heart would stop. I wish no one cared about me or loved me. I wish my pets didn't depend on me. Then I could just do it, it would be done and over with.

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    These thoughts you are having are results of the depression your in. I hope you are getting therapy and are trying medication to help ease your pain. Have you talked to crisis team or doctor anyone who could help you out of this cloud of depression. I feel this way alot but know i have to hang in there for the ones that care about me. I have to hang on because there is treatment for depression it just takes time to find right medication and therapist. Please hang on and vent here anytime you want. Your not wanting to end life just dam saddness and pain this can be done by reaching out for help okay call crisis or doctor get yourself help your worth it.
  3. melgrj7

    melgrj7 Member

    I've been in therapy for a year this time around. I've been on many different medications. Nothing really helps. I'm just defective.
  4. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    join the club!! lol im just kidding..but you are not alone by far.Just a day at a time.It is all you can do.Do you like your therapist?Would you consider a new one?I am where you are but I am actually JUST starting to get help.I get through the rough times especially at night by reading about others situations and trying to be supportive.Sometimes when there is nothing else you can do and you feel so defective..the best thing you can do is be a friend to someone else who feels the same.I see how many people over time have grown and made it.You will too.And so will I.
  5. SplinterStar

    SplinterStar Active Member

    I wanta die too. name the place and we can have a death party. now where's my archery set?
  6. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    if this was supposed to be funny I didn't laugh.Although humor is great medicine,encouraging others to harm themselves in these forums isn't the right place.However,I may be a fuddy duddy uptight church lady..
  7. melgrj7

    melgrj7 Member

    I really find it amazing that you cannot simply will your heart to stop beating. It seems like you should be able to.
  8. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    It's not going to happen.. I layed in bed for fourteen years just watching the ceiling fan and wishing I would just die.. It didn't get me anywhere..My therapist made the break thru for me.. She talked me into getting a computer and a pup.. Now I communicate with people here on the forum and my dog is my faithfull companion..I'm still suicidal and fight it dailey.. Mt therapist says I will probably stay this way..It's up to me if I am going to keep fighting or just give up and commit..Right now I am stable but last week I was standing at the edge ready to end it..My friends here help pull my thru it, and several other members who I really don't know come thru with words of encouragement..Stick with your therapy it takes time.. I didn't see a difference until my second year and I have been with the same therapist now for four years and she always picks me up and dusts me off..
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