Ive upset myself to the point of sickness :blub: i feel so alone anymore, its not even like i dont have friends, but i dont feel that they can understand me, on here or in RL. I know that im not the only person but i feel so alone. I simply want a dark corner to crawl up in and be alone, im fighting pushing everyone away, but its a losing battle :blub: i dont know what to do. I feel so depressed, and im making myself sick, and i can barely get myself to eat. i just want to be alone i dont want to be near anyone. I try to enter the chat room. i cant bear to even be ina room with people. I literally lock down, my head hurts, and i start to cry. I dont cry, i cant let myself, but it happens. Im so weak now, i cant even control me. If i cant find an empty room in chat i cant be in chat, its frustrating when a mod moves me, telling me that i cant be in the entrance lobby, though that is the only empty room. Im so scared, because im losing myself. I literally wish death would come to me, but i dont have the will to seek it out, what is the point of it? I always fail when i seek, and it never finds me. I crawl on, because that is all there is left to do, but i dont even want to crawl here. I cant bring myself to write poetry like i used to, i dont find comfort in my animals. i cant bear it anymore. I wish death would come to me. Everyone around me seems to fall upon it and escape it, yet i cant seem to even find its trail.