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I feel so sick

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by ThornThatNeverHeals, Apr 22, 2011.

  1. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    Ive upset myself to the point of sickness :blub: i feel so alone anymore, its not even like i dont have friends, but i dont feel that they can understand me, on here or in RL. I know that im not the only person but i feel so alone. I simply want a dark corner to crawl up in and be alone, im fighting pushing everyone away, but its a losing battle :blub: i dont know what to do. I feel so depressed, and im making myself sick, and i can barely get myself to eat. i just want to be alone i dont want to be near anyone.

    I try to enter the chat room. i cant bear to even be ina room with people. I literally lock down, my head hurts, and i start to cry. I dont cry, i cant let myself, but it happens. Im so weak now, i cant even control me. If i cant find an empty room in chat i cant be in chat, its frustrating when a mod moves me, telling me that i cant be in the entrance lobby, though that is the only empty room. Im so scared, because im losing myself. I literally wish death would come to me, but i dont have the will to seek it out, what is the point of it? I always fail when i seek, and it never finds me. I crawl on, because that is all there is left to do, but i dont even want to crawl here. I cant bring myself to write poetry like i used to, i dont find comfort in my animals. i cant bear it anymore. I wish death would come to me. Everyone around me seems to fall upon it and escape it, yet i cant seem to even find its trail.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 22, 2011
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    ....hey :) .....
  3. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i too find it hard to be a room with lots of people even chat room i find it so overwhelming it hurt i understand that. When you get feeling that way don't be alone okay it is so hard to reach out i know You can pm me if you want to just talk i will listen i do understand and i don't want you to be alone or sad hugs to you
  5. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    you can PM me to, Im usually on 9-2 cental US time.

    Hope tomorrow is better than today and today is better than yesterday.
  6. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    when i try to talk to someone on here, it seems as if i am a burden, they have no emotion in their writing, like they reply only because they must
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    if you want a room in chat hun, i can make you one :) the entrance lobby isnt a room to chat in, hugs
  8. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    i wasnt chatting, i was simply sitting idle. and i asked a green person if i could have a room, and i got a not right now. then they said sorry, and some other BS then told me to get out.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    The entrance lobby isn't a room to remain idle in either, sorry!
  10. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    :blub: where do i go then when all the rooms are full, and i just want to private chat with someone :blub: we dont have enough rooms