I feel so thrown away

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by JustMeNow, Jun 11, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. JustMeNow

    JustMeNow Member

    I am not sure why I am posting this. If i had the guts to follow thru with ending my life I would have today. So maybe I am not suicidal? I dont know. I just know that I can't feel the way I do and live anymore. My husband threw me away, my boyfriend after my divorce threw me away. Now my daughter has too.

    I did not think I was this horrible of a person but I was wrong. I am alone a worthless use of air
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU hun are not worthless ok you many have made poor choices but that does not make you worthless hun I hope your daughter comes around hun give her time ok hugs
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    What you have posted is so sad...is there any way to repair the relationship with your daughter? Maybe by talking to someone you can find successful strategies...welcome and please continue to tell us what is going on
     
  4. JustMeNow

    JustMeNow Member

    When i got divorced i moved in with her and her husband because he left me without a pot to ...in . She was pregnant at the time and I watched the baby when she went back to work. That baby is 3 and she has a 2 year old and a 7 week old now too. I have not been away from those kids for a day out of their lives. I paid rent and food and helped a LOT with the kids. She had very hard pregnancies and was bed ridden a lot.
    She has mood swings that are insane, lashes out at me and her husband bad. Shes great with the kids but... So Sunday she started in on me and she got pretty violent with me and I snapped screaming at her. I wanted her to stop hitting me so i said i may as well be dead. So she took that bad as she should have. I just wanted to go for a drive and calm down but she would not let me. She took my keys and purse and would not get out of my face.

    So later my older daughter drove 3 hours up there and brought me home.

    Now she says i cant ever come back, i can't see the kids. It is tearing me apart. They are her children yes but i cant stop panicking, xanax is not stopping it. Those kids are my world and i feel empty and lost
     
  5. JustMeNow

    JustMeNow Member

    And I have said some horrible things to her today. I know it would be good for her to have to take care of the kids without my help. But her husband is such a jerk, he does nothing other than bring home a paycheck. He comes home gets drunk and plays video games.

    Hes got her out in the middle of no where alone all day with 3 babies. Thats exactly what he wants

    So while I hope when we all calm down it will be better but i do not think he will allow it.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    how wrong of her to use her children like that I am sorry hun they will be missing you hugs
     
  7. JustMeNow

    JustMeNow Member

    And I miss my babies so much it physically hurt my heart :(
     
  8. JustMeNow

    JustMeNow Member

    I don't think I can live without them. I am so scared
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.