i feel so ungrateful

i somehow found the strength to get through the withdrawls from the effexor. All i wanted was to just get through it and now im through it and im still unhappy. This whole fear of vomiting thing is ruining my life. I cant live normally. Thats the major thing that makes me the most depressed. If i didnt have that id really enjoy life or at least try to with a positive outlook. I dont want to cry because i know alot of people have it much worse than me. So i shouldnt be complaining.sometimes i close my eyes and wish i were dead. Sometimes i fear closing my eyes because im afraid i woke wake up. I just feel like i dont appreciate life enough to deserve to live. Sometimes i wish i could give my life to someone who reallllly wants to live and has the energy for it.

 

you have an illness hun you suffering and need some help. Keep trying okay call your doc and try different meds different therapy to help you hugs

 

i am never ever taking prescribed pills again. Ive ended up in the hospital twice now. They dont help. They just make it worse. And therapy i would love to go but our government or whatever shut down so i dont have healthcare so i would have to pay for it out of pocket. No thanks.

 

What is the worst thing about vomiting?

You said "Sometimes i fear closing my eyes because im afraid i woke wake up". So you stay awake without closing your eyes? Does this make sense?

If you don't even fear death, no fear can really defeat you...

Anyway, imagine how you would feel without those fearful thoughts. You know that they are just thoughts, not real...

 

What? You always vomit? Or you just scared to vomit? Trust me, I've held it in quite a few times just cause the unfortability of it, but, after I got it out, oh what a relief...

 

I can tell you I suffer from a similar problem, I'm not sure how big yours is but my fear of vomiting is all from eating, and therefore I don't really eat much of anything except tasteless, dry foods. It's rather depressing, to say the least, I can't go out and do anything with anyone nor accept food, because I simply won't eat it. On top of that don't let anyone tell you your problem is ridiculous, I believed it my whole life, but it's who I am.

Medicene will not help... Medicene is supposed to be described for patients with a chemical inbalance in the brain, that's all it can do, in the end, the phobia you say is causing your depression will still be there.

I'm personally going to a doctor next month to find ways to cure it, granted I'm pretty desperate I may try hypnosis, they've said it can cure a phobia. Even though I'm skeptical of the process working to begin with.

If you elaborated more on the fear and how it affects you I can suggest some things or tell you you're not alone. :unsure: