i somehow found the strength to get through the withdrawls from the effexor. All i wanted was to just get through it and now im through it and im still unhappy. This whole fear of vomiting thing is ruining my life. I cant live normally. Thats the major thing that makes me the most depressed. If i didnt have that id really enjoy life or at least try to with a positive outlook. I dont want to cry because i know alot of people have it much worse than me. So i shouldnt be complaining.sometimes i close my eyes and wish i were dead. Sometimes i fear closing my eyes because im afraid i woke wake up. I just feel like i dont appreciate life enough to deserve to live. Sometimes i wish i could give my life to someone who reallllly wants to live and has the energy for it.