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I feel so useless in this world.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by SaraRose, Aug 29, 2012.

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  1. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I really am. I have no friends in town, I only have 2 that live in different states. We can only keep in touch through text message. And I feel like a freak for staring at my phone for hours when I text one of them and they don't answer. I know the time differences and I know they have jobs and school. Just like when I'm at work I may not be able to answer right away. But still I can't stop staring at my phone or wondering why they ain't answering.

    No one wants to be my friend, which after this many years I've learned to deal with it. It's sad to pretend that I do stuff with people, but luckily at work I'm known as the quiet girl so I don't hafta lie about stuff I've done with "friends."

    But now I even can't seem to keep my cats happy. I'm tired of feeling like a failure to even them. Everyone around me seems like they don't care for me. My family, those I work with, my cats, everyone.

    I'm a complete failure to everyone and it's getting harder to smile every day. My stomach is always knotted up and I have a constant urge to cry but I can't. All I can do is hope that one day one of these aches or pains will become something serious and just let this existence end. I've got enough of a family history of cancer that I just gotta cross my fingers that it will hit me next.

    I'm just so tired of being alone. Looking at those who have better lives then me. I'm tired of being a failure in life. I can't do my job right. I can't get bills paid right. I can't do housework right. I give up! I can't do anything right. Even now I can't figure out what to right correctly...
  2. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Not being able to smile is one of the worst experiences about being depressed. Are you seeking help from a medical professional? Do you think you could go easy on yourself, and not be so overly critical? You should give yourself some credit for having a good job and just working in general. I think that's great! Maybe do what you can to not put so much pressure on the texting habits of your friends. It sounds like its causing great concern. And this is probably because it means so much to you. Perhaps send fewer messages? Or less meaningful or dramatic ones, if that's the issue ( for example - if you're revealing too much personal information). I would just try to treat it more casually, and not hang on every gesture, or lack thereof: no response; by them. Because they don't deserve that much power over you anyway. Take Care & Best Regards!
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    I'm sorry you feel this way, with the physical and mental pain...I often feel this way too. I don't have many friends either, so I can relate to that feeling of being alone. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself...it can be hard to do even simple tasks when you're depressed. I know that you're not useless, because no one could be as useless as me. I hope these feelings pass soon, and you will be able to smile, if even a little :hug:
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