I feel suicidal how do I deal with it ?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bruces, May 4, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I'm 40 I have chronic depression,ocd and psoriasis my life is misery and no girl will come near me I'm pretty much unemployable and have no hope what would people reccomend in my shoes ????
     
  2. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I wish that I knew. I'm 43 and my problems started when I was 40. I used to be really smart, but my mind is totally different and I can't stand it. It would be so much better if I were dead. I just don't understand how I could lose my mind at such a young age. I never expected this, but now that it's happened, it seem like I have no choice but to live. It's like I'm in hell and I'm tormented by it every day. Since you've already tried getting help, I just don't know what the answer is. I used to get all the women, but with the way that I am now, I don't even want anyone in my life.
     
  3. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I'm told suicide is never the answer but I just wondered what is the answer? I'm depressed I have ocd and psoriasis I just wondered what reason I have to live?
     
  4. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I hate hearing people say that suicide is never the answer and that you can change if you want to. Maybe that is true in most cases, but so many people just can't seem to be able to comprehend that things can go wrong with the mind that can't be cured and how could they. They feel normal. I just don't know of anyone else that is in a situation like me. I always search the web, but it seems that there are no answers. I just don't understand how my brain could be damaged. I mean I never did drugs or have any tramatic brain injury. I was always a good person, but it feels like I'm being punished like a criminal by my own mind. When I was in the hospital, they did all kinds of self help groups. They treat mental patients like children. Maybe some people can benefit from that kind of a thing, but I always had it together and never needed any of that crap. Something went wrong with my brain to the point that I'm very weak and vulnerable. I hate being treated like a child, but I don't have the mental ability that I had before. I also hate having to talk to mental health workers about feeling suicidal. It's like I've become like a child, but worse. It's just terrible to feel so mentally handicaped when I was always so smart before. I could have put all of those people to shame, but I can't anymore and it's the most horrible feeling.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 4, 2015
  5. davidIce

    davidIce Member

    You have put it very well. I am 52 and not only does it feel like I am a complete failure but it seems like my life never really started. I am on the Autistic Sprectrum so find making friends difficult. In fact I only ever made 2 proper friends and one of those was only for a couple of years. Both are now dead. So after having failed to form friendships for over 30 years it is difficult for me to go out and try socializing again. It was not as if I never tried - it was just that I was unable to connect with any of the people, in groups or at work, that I used to spend time with. I find the thought of growing old in isolation unbearable - hence I am on this website. Also through my own stupidity I lost my work and career so now I am pretty much unemployable. The brain does waste with lack of use - but just maybe if you had something to focus on you could build up your mental strength in the same way one can build up physical strength. The tricky one is emotional resilience - as I think you need some positive feedback from the world in order for that to develop. I am not sure I am being very helpful with saying all this so will shut up now.
     
  6. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I'm finding life unbearable the only rest I get is when I'm asleep the rest of the time I'm in misery
     
  7. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    Me too, but I don't even sleep right. I always have weird dreams like I never had before. I never get any decent sleep.
     
  8. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    I'm at my wits end I don't know what to do im gunna have to hit the bottle
     
  9. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I would turn to alcohol too if it would help, but it doesn't help me. It only seems to make things worse.
     
  10. Jane

    Jane New Member

    I'm not exactly in the best boat to be giving advice, considering I am 21 years old and have recently tried to kill myself. But, you guys, you're older - smarter - stronger. You have managed for this long, and I know things get hard, very hard that you feel like giving up is your only option. But there are other options, you just have to create and explore them. You obviously don't want to die, that's why you came here - for help, support and friends. Feel free to message me if you ever need an ear to listen, or shoulder to cry on. But for now. Please don't give up.
     
  11. Bruces

    Bruces Well-Known Member

    It's so very difficult when your living in misery everyday
     
  12. bayareagirl

    bayareagirl Well-Known Member

    Bruces, what thoughts do you have about improving your situation? I know you have been dealing with this a long time and I'm sorry. There's been a lot discussed here and other threads about OCD groups etc. What are your feelings about what would make things better for you? I'm sorry you are feeling like this daily.
     
  13. bayareagirl

    bayareagirl Well-Known Member

    I had a suggestion that you try volunteering. It may help you connect with other people, build some self esteem because you are doing something useful and focus less on yourself. It can help you feel productive and useful. Might take a few tries to find a place you connect with. It might seem an odd suggestion to deal with feeling suicidal but since you've described your suicidal feelings coming from depression and feeling worthless, it could be a place to start. There's a million places that probably welcome volunteers from food banks, fundraising, tutoring kids, beautifying landscapes, animal shelters pretty much anything you could think of.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.