and don't know where to turn now. I'm fighting alcohol addiction and severe depression and the two together are more than I can stand. I know that the alcohol makes the depression worse, and that I should stop drinking, but the desire to just drown myself is so great that I end up drinking until I pass out and for a few blessed hours, have relief from the pain of being alive. I know that by drinking, I will drink myself to death, and maybe that's the goal. I just don't know anymore. I don't know anything except for this overwhelming misery. I am lost and afraid and alone. All I know for sure is that I hate myself and what I've become.