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I feel utterly helpless

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Arthur, Feb 8, 2011.

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  1. Arthur

    Arthur Account Closed

    I feel like i can't describe what i'm going through...
    I'm very agoraphobic and i can't meet new people, my job sucks, people at my job don't like me and never talk to me.

    I'm so isolated..., my elder sisters don't know that i'm depressed and on meds.
    They don't have any time for me cause they have their own kids to care about.

    My friends live very far away and they don't have any time to listen to me moan about my loneliness.

    What is there going to be left of depressed old retarted me???

    At least i'm not suicidal anymore, i'm just very scared of drinking or buying drugs again to cope with my loneliness and the reasons why i hate myself so much.

    I've been over my weed and alcohol addiction but it's a real struggle cause drugs made me feel like i wasn't alone, time flew by and i had fun.

    But now i'm stuck with reality, and it ain't pretty, i can't live and i can't die.
    I have a speach disorder so it's not easy for me to meet people who can take the time to listen to me, most people are prejudging me before they get to know me.

    Anyway i'm going to the AA-meeting thursday.

    I feel so lonely and depressed and desperate, i thought about meeting with other schizophrenic agoraphobic people like me but i don't know... how will i do that.

    Do i have to start a group of mentally disabled people by putting ads on websites?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2011
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry you're feeling so alone. :hug: Have you talked to a therapist or counselor about how lonely you are? They might be able to recommend something, even a group of people you could get together with who may have similar problems.

    Do you have any friends online, people you can talk to? I realize it's not the same thing as having people to actually spend time with, but it can help take the edge off the loneliness.
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    My neighbour is also agoraphobic or so he said. Turns out it is a social phobia as he can go out when the streets are empty early in the morning. No hooded kids taunting anyone at that time of day. Nobody to bother you.

    Not sure if you make a mistake not telling your sisters about the medication and so on. Might be worth broaching this Arthur - tell them you'd love to be more involved at some point. Their children are your nephews and nieces after all. That's family you have out there. It means something.

    Weed and alcohol is a bad combination. That said, a bit of one or the other, as a treat at the end of the day is not too bad a thing. All depends if you can control it.

    As for starting a group up - that's a good idea. Maybe you can get help in setting it up - space to meet, perhaps some local health workers would see it as a great initiative.

    I think self help groups are a good idea especially with the way things are going and cuts in various services.

    Good luck with that.

    As for loneliness, I guess that overcoming your fear of going out is the main thing to tackle.

    The internet can help. It is a GREAT help because when I was a teenager up to my thirties, computers were for people with a lot of money. IF you felt bad back in 1980 for example - you could phone the Samaritans (if you had a phone) but no internet, no answers from people going through certain conditions.

    For many people housebound talking to others online is a life saver.

    Let's be thankful for technology but I think we all know in our hearts that we need real human contact.
  4. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    i think you are great. i wish you could come live here with me. we might just make it.
  5. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Eric, i will find you at the weekend, we can talk some more.
    Im sorry that i have not been around much, it would be nice to hear your voice again.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2011
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Arthur, Im sorry to see you down, but going to AA is a great step. Thinking about creating a group or joining one is your mind and body telling you that you need to get out there, some people may judge cause some people are ignorant, but others will see you as you!! and will like you for you!!! but only if you give yourself a chance to put yourself out there.

    So get up and out there and do what you have to get yourself better.

    Hugs to a big hearted guy that deserves much love and kindness.
  7. My dear Arthur.. Sending my :hug: to you.. :mortd: in the chat room soon..
  8. Arthur

    Arthur Account Closed

    It's 10.06 am i've been two hours at work and i feel so bad...i have been banned for a week for speaking a bit of french on the chatroom and i miss everyone on the chat.

    I'm lonely, scared and miserable.

    Nobody likes me at work... i think i'm going to drink and smoke weed tonight...drugs and alcohol are my only friends and enemies.

    I miss everyone on the chat...
  9. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    :( Hugs to you, man. :hugtackles: ~ With support, Alex ~
  10. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Arthur, I am agoriphobic and socialphobic so I understand how you feel..Weed and alcohol aren't the answer.. Sure they make you feel good but in the end your right back where you started minus some money..I smoked for thirty years and drank for thirty seven years... I just one day decided I was too old for that shit....Are you on meds?? It took them six years to find the right combo of meds to help keep me somewhat stable...I have more psych problems also..See about getting referred to a pdoc...
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