I feel very suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ABK1, Aug 7, 2011.

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  1. ABK1

    ABK1 New Member

    Uhhh I dont know where to start so here we go. hello my name is Karson, i am 15 and my life really sucks. Back in 2005 my dad was re diagnosed with melanoma cancer. he had a good fight he lasted 2 years before he started to lose his memory and the last thing i remember him doing is telling my brother to get away from him right before he punched him in the face. we had a very rough couple years while my mom progressively drank more and more and now is an alcoholic, we had a decent amount of money because of my dads hard work, but when he died we slowly crept down into poverty. But things were starting to look up when i thought i met a girl i loved and she loved me. she cheated on me once and i got over it. we were messing around, sneaking out and that sort of stuff. After a while she broke up with me to go out with a 19 yearold. meanwhile im struggling in school because im very self conscious and struggling to get even D's in school. so me and her got back together about 3 months later, and we had sex but it broke and we had to get plan b, she ended up cheating on me 4 more times before SHE broke up with me again and went out with the guy she cheated on me twice, so that pretty much destroyed me. and i never had a father figure to teach me how to be a man and deal with my problems efficiently. so im slowly loosing all my friends because i moved and have to be home schooled till i can drive and i can never sleep so staying up listening to sad music doesnt really help with the whole suicide issue. ive never really told anyone any of this before and i need to tell someone before it comes back to haunt me
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i hope you can get some therapy hun Go to school councillor and ask for some grief therapy to help you deal with loss of your father. You are still very much in the grieving state. Talk to someone okay a teacher anyone and get some help so you can put the past behind you and move forward. There will be other girls hun ones that deserve your affection You are so young so don't worry about that. You need to heal first okay Keep talking here hun reaching out for support okay You can pm me anytime you just want to talk hugs
     
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hey, Karson!

    Welcome to SF! Thanks for letting us know about you in a nutshell. Many here remain somewhat anonymous, so always feel free to share what you're comfortable with about what's troubling you. As a former home-schooler (two years - junior year and senior year in high school), I hope you enjoy it. :hug:

    Best regards,

    Alex

    P.S. If you have any questions about SF, don't hesitate to ask! ;)
     
  4. ABK1

    ABK1 New Member

    I went to therapy for 3 years after my dad died but i stopped because it didnt help and my depression got worse and worse until now
     
  5. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    :(

    Sorry to hear that, man.. :hug:
     
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