i feel weird

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by meagainstme, Jan 26, 2007.

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  1. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    after many many years of feeling so shit and alone, i thought that opening up to my girlfriend [now ex] and getting help would be good. but as im opening up more, im focusing more on myself and my feelings about myself, and now i want to be alone again.

    i dont want to open up to anyone.

    i dont understand myself really. i dont want to feel like this, but im kind of holding onto it. it feels like this is all i have. hmm. its hard to explain.

    and i dont want to stop cutting. i love seein my body covered with scars, blood and scabs. i guess it makes me feel real. im not sure.

    ive started acting really happy around people. im acting like everything is perfect, when inside i feel like im being crushed. but i rather like it this way. i dont want people to know whats going on. i like the way i have something for myself.

    does this make sense at all?

    i cant even make sense of it myself. i hate it, but love it. hmm...
     
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