I feel..

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by meaningless-vessel, Mar 22, 2012.

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  1. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Guilty as hell...

    For letting work colleagues down...
    For letting my own creation (my son) down by not being the dad I would have enjoyed being
    For not being able to open up to those who really care.

    And I feel so god damn stupid for SH 2.5 days ago - even though I drew no blood.

    All this..

    Makes me want to do more....

    Not to mention a friend of mine who has experienced it is asking me to help myself and I don't know where to start... This just adds pressure and I don't have the heart to tell them.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can only do what you can do hun Take each minute at a time and just get through it the best way you know how. Your son loves you just the way you are okay so please try to be kind to you not so hard on you hugs
  3. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    I get that way too. Think of it this way: the fact that you're so easily regretful shows how much you care, and therefore shows what a good person you are. How many people like you would be so considerate? Hating yourself won't make those who care about you or depend on you any better, however tempting it may be (believe me, I know). You're a good person, and you shouldn't let that be your undoing.
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I've now hit 3 times in the space of 6 days... Something isn't right internally. And I was supposed to be heading back to work but I don't feel.. I can step outside because I'm ashamed of myself for not having the control any more.

    I never thought i'd start it.. But.. like smoking did 9.5 years ago.. its starting to become a habit. :argh:

    I wish I never started.. but hindsight is a thing that happens too late.
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