I fell in love really fast

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Byb, May 25, 2011.

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  1. Byb

    Byb Member

    I know its stupid and nothing to be suicidal over, but I have created this entire fantasy of a possible relationship with someone younger than me, better looking than me, and not to mention not the right sexual preference. I can't stop thinking about this person
    and I have spent day after day doing nothing but obsessing about what they are up to. I need some support.
  2. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey, sorry you are feeling this way

    I've heard that typically when someone falls in love, it's coming mainly from the desire of the person who falls in love to be in love, rather than the qualities of the one they fall in love with.

    I wonder if you even picked someone who would be inaccessible (not the right preference)

    unless this person is young enough for it to be a legal issue, maybe you could tell them about how you feel, even though you understand there are reasons why it wouldn't work. you can still love someone even if it doesn't lead to a romantic relationship. maybe lots of nice hugs though?

    I hope that things can get better!
  3. Byb

    Byb Member

    Dont worry it's nothing inappropriate age wise.

    Telling them seems really scary. Rejection would be awful. I feel like Fhey would never speak to me again. I know that I really don't have a real solution to this because it won't work out either way. I don't just want to have someone love me, but it's more about someone wanting me and knowing that they are thinking about me as much as I them.
  4. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    well, you wouldn't have to tell them, I suppose. maybe if you could get around to hugging them, that would make you happy

    but it sounds like finding someone else, someone that you are compatible with, would be the best thing
  5. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    Err what?

    What do you mean by the right sexual preference?
  6. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    They mean the person is more in love with the idea of being in love rather than the person themself. Read Brighton Rock for a classic example.
  7. Domo

    Domo Well-Known Member

    I was questioning the 'typically when someone falls in love' part as i think it was a silly generalisation.
  8. Byb

    Byb Member

    It's those little things. When you send a text and all you want is a response to change your entire day and turn it all around and make your shitty day amazing. When you watch their Facebook hoping they will say something to you or about you. When a song you know they like comes on and it makes you think about them and in my case cry. I don't want to have to tell them what I'm feeling, I want them to know already and tell me that everythings gonna be alright. My last great love left me after almost 11 years of being together so I know what heartache is and this isn't that. This is bordering on obsession and I know it's not healthy, but it won't go away. And hugs won't be enough.
  9. Groznyji

    Groznyji Active Member

    It's infatuation. I think we all know the feeling. It will take a while but it will pass in time.

    As far as just telling the person... what do you have to lose? You'll be devastated, to be sure, but you might as well just ask him/her out on a date. If he/she says no, then you'll be able to move past these feelings faster. That's typically what I've done in the past in these types of situations, and I've always moved on.

    However, you mentioned that the person doesn't match your typical gender preference. If these are homosexual feelings then that might complicate issues, since it's difficult to ask someone out unless you're sure that their sexual preference matches yours. Do you know this person well enough to have that information?

    And THAT raises another issue. Is this person your friend? Would asking this person out jeopardize that friendship? If so, it might be best to just quietly back off for a while until the feelings pass before you start hanging out with him/her again. Otherwise those feelings will "reset" every time you see him/her.

    I guess it just comes down to whether or not you're going to make the decision to say something. If those issues I've mentioned aren't a problem, then just do it. Rejection is tough, but, in my opinion, not knowing what might have been is tougher.
  10. Byb

    Byb Member

    I asked them out. Sort of. I didn't make it seem like a date. They invited someone else to come along. Jokes on me!
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