I felt ashamed

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Lionheart, Aug 26, 2012.

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  1. Lionheart

    Lionheart Well-Known Member

    I had a chat with a therapist about why I worry about certain thoughts or struggling to let 'sleeping dog's lie' and he said it was my ego tricking me. :unsure:

    I felt so bad, like I was subconsciously trying to be better then everyone without really knowing it. I don't know really much about the ego and super ego thing, only that usually assholes in the past were full of ego and cockiness :concern:

    It has made me think it is ok to forget about past memories but I'm still finding that almost impossible. He metioned trauma to me but I had a decnet childhood, it's only high school and from there on I wish I could alter. Basically I didn't have much of a different experience from anybody else I reckon. But yet I still feel so angry about how everybody was treated there, me included. It's still hard to forget the lifestyle then and how ashamed I am for letting people get away with bullying there. It shoulden't matter now but I often worry people would always remember me as that 'pushover' almost and I'll never shake that image. :shame:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think people move on with their own lives hun and alot forget about people who they associated with in high school You too have to move on hun with help from your therapist you can let go of that pain from the past and move forward hugs
  3. Jack Rabbit

    Jack Rabbit Well-Known Member

    I hope you're misinterpreting your therapist. Otherwise I think he's overdue for his own appointment.
    Splitting up the mind into ego, super-ego, subconscious and id is classical Freudianism. Not much in style today, and certainly not borne out by our increased understanding about the biology of the brain.
    Read books so that you get to a point where you can judge the value of things you are told. Also, explore treatment alternatives - what works for one person does not always work for everybody.
  4. stuck_in_limbo

    stuck_in_limbo Active Member

    I can't believe I'm saying this, but the past is the past. Your life right now is from this very moment into the future. I know it's hard to let go of past indignities. For whatever reason, I define myself by my past screw-ups, yet anything good I've done doesn't seem to count. There's some sort of guilt there that makes me feel I have to be hard on myself and hopeless about the future. I don't know if this what you're exactly experiencing, but you sound like a good person who, with maybe the help of therapy, can embrace that and move on, away from the days of teasing and bullying. I am, in no way, trying to diminish the effect that had on you -- it must have been painful. I was pretty wishy-washy myself, and felt a lot of lonliness and hopelessness growing up. I don't want to deal with pain anymore, but I don't think I can move on unless I explore it, so I can finally get through it and build up some courage to have a decent life for myself. It seems very hard, if not impossible, and maybe that's part of what you're experiencing. But I suppose it does take time. Personally, I have 22 years (since things completely blew up in my face) to unravel, and I can't get through the numbness in one day. I don't know if this helped you, but thanks for being sort of a mirror to remind me of who I am -- beyond the loser facade. I wish the best for you.
  5. synchrohobbit

    synchrohobbit Active Member

    I have to agree with Jack Rabbit. Talking about the ego is really only something we should be doing casually, not in a licensed therapist's office. People with anxiety tend to dwell on things, and if therapy isn't working medication can help.
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