I had a chat with a therapist about why I worry about certain thoughts or struggling to let 'sleeping dog's lie' and he said it was my ego tricking me. :unsure:
I felt so bad, like I was subconsciously trying to be better then everyone without really knowing it. I don't know really much about the ego and super ego thing, only that usually assholes in the past were full of ego and cockiness :concern:
It has made me think it is ok to forget about past memories but I'm still finding that almost impossible. He metioned trauma to me but I had a decnet childhood, it's only high school and from there on I wish I could alter. Basically I didn't have much of a different experience from anybody else I reckon. But yet I still feel so angry about how everybody was treated there, me included. It's still hard to forget the lifestyle then and how ashamed I am for letting people get away with bullying there. It shoulden't matter now but I often worry people would always remember me as that 'pushover' almost and I'll never shake that image. :shame:
I felt so bad, like I was subconsciously trying to be better then everyone without really knowing it. I don't know really much about the ego and super ego thing, only that usually assholes in the past were full of ego and cockiness :concern:
It has made me think it is ok to forget about past memories but I'm still finding that almost impossible. He metioned trauma to me but I had a decnet childhood, it's only high school and from there on I wish I could alter. Basically I didn't have much of a different experience from anybody else I reckon. But yet I still feel so angry about how everybody was treated there, me included. It's still hard to forget the lifestyle then and how ashamed I am for letting people get away with bullying there. It shoulden't matter now but I often worry people would always remember me as that 'pushover' almost and I'll never shake that image. :shame: