I found my brother's suicide note, now what?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Matthew S J, Aug 14, 2007.

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  1. Matthew S J

    Matthew S J New Member

    My brother has been suicidal for awhile now. I know it but most of the rest of my family doesn't seem to believe it. I borrowed a book from him last night and found a series of suicide notes addressed to myself and to the rest of the members of my family. The circumstances were such that I am certain he did not intend for me to find them.

    I was wondering what someone, anyone might think I should do about it?

    I didn't read the letters but I don't know what to do with them. If I give them to the respective people they are addressed to, then these people might actually realize that my brother really is planning to kill himself. Then they can then take whatever actions they feel are necessary, such as spending more time with him (which is what I have been doing) or saying anything they think they need to.

    On the other hand I realize that my brother did not intend to give me these letters and if their content was anything other than what it is I would return them to him.

    Hell, I just don’t know. Is my obligation stronger to my brother whose privacy I would be violating? Or is it more important that I help the people who will continue after him?

    Any thoughts would be appreciated.
  2. RunningAway

    RunningAway Well-Known Member

    Perhaps you should return them to him and ask if he would like to talk about it? It must be very difficult for you and I can imagine that might be difficult. But it is probably better than an immediate big panic - he probably would not cope with the entire family descending on him!

    PM me if you want to talk. I am sorry you are going through this :hug:
  3. JFonseka

    JFonseka Active Member

    You are wondering about violating his privacy when it's related to a suicide?

    If you are his brother, you would do what is important :mad:

    That is you would ask him about it, tell him you are there for him, get family there, if family can't be there for moments like these, i don't know what else there is to a family besides people living together not seeming to know each other
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 14, 2007
  4. mike308

    mike308 Well-Known Member

    DRIVE OVER TO HIS HOUSE , tell him that you love him and you are very worried about him..
    Do it in private,, just the 2 of you,, then show him the letters, ask him what's going on.
    Don't be judgemental about what he has to say. just listen.. and give support.
  5. smackh2o

    smackh2o SF Supporter

    Yeah, I agree with everyone. It is so hard for people to talk about their feelings that they need someone to make the first move. Only they tend to keep their feelings hidden so no one will. You have an oppertunity to speak to him on the level but do not read the letters, return them to him.
    Be his confidant and use what you know about him to talk to him the way you feel will build the most trust so that he can talk to you more.
    Good luck!
  6. Feared.Desire

    Feared.Desire Well-Known Member

    Agreed. Telling your entire family, Bad. It would probably make him akward around everyone, Bad. Go to him, on your own, and be calm about it. But definatly talk to him.
    To put it in short, I agree with everyone else.
  7. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    No need to think about anything apart from raising the immediate alarm and ensure he's safe and get's help asap.
  8. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    Talk to him right away, and ask him directly if he is suicidal and if he has a plan. If he does, then you have to get him safe. Talk to him first though and listen to him.
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