Even though this place is totally anonymous, I don't feel right talking about it here. I don't want to kill myself now -- I just want someone to listen to and understand my situation. I heard a psychiatrist on the radio describe my situation exactly. I didn't realize exactly what my problem was until they said it and then a light bulb flickered on in my head. I don't want IMs, I just want someone who's willing to accept a private message. I don't want to talk about my problem and PLEASE don't feel sorry for me. If you have any advice, that's great, but no sorrow and I need someone to listen more than I need advice at this point. I've never talked about this before with anyone. My closest friends in real life know what happened -- but I can't talk about it with them. I just need to get it off of my chest for one person that's willing to hear my story.