I fucking hate my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by notwanting2live, Oct 24, 2008.

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  1. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    I cant fucking take this anymore. i wish i was dead. i just cant do this anymore, why does he have to haunt me again and again. why the fuck does he have to enter my life again, after ive been trying to get myself better. i wish i could be better but he is a small part of all my troubles. i cant do this anymore... :mad:
     
  2. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i am not sure who has entered your life again, but can you set some boundaries to protect yourself? if this is a person who has harmed you in the past - either physically or emotionally - you don't have leave yourself open to being re-harmed. is there anything we can do to help you through this time?
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    To add to the last post...is there anyone who can help you? is there any need to call someone to help protect you? I am not sure either what is going on, but I do know you are worthy of being safe and comforted...please let us know if there is anything we can do for you...PM me if I can be of any help, big hugs, J
     
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Sky,
    What is going on, who is back? You need to remember you aren't alone, please tell us more so we can try to help. You don't need to let anyone abuse you!! You are a kind soul and you always have kind words for others. Why not let us in so we can share with you!! Talk to us!!~Joseph~
     
  5. Krissy78

    Krissy78 New Member

    Sky I hope you are doing better since you post. PM me back when you get the chance.

    ~Thinking of you~
     
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello Sky,
    I am still here for you!!If he is going to do harm, don't let him back into your life. You have been doing so good here lately. As always I am here for you to talk to don't be afraid to ask for help!!! You know you can PM me any time!! I also have MSN now so if you need that address just ask!!Take Care!!~Joseph~
     
  7. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    heya x i cant stop him comig into my life, and i cant protect my self from him anymore. i cant stop my brother from seeing my dad, and from talking to my family. ive tried telling my mum and ive tried telling one of my sisters but they dont believe me or anything. when i go away in a couple days, my dad is going to be over in southampton [where im going!] and he is going to be there. every time i see him or hear him i feel like that little gal again when im 7 and i cant move on from it. the freaky thing is i had 2 talk about it to one of my drug && alcohol conusellors about my brother as they have to send it to rehab as like a background and stuff. i hate my life, and i just cant cope anymores. ive given up now, i really have.
     
  8. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Thoughts are popping into my head again. Cant take this shit anymore.

    GGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
     
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I understand where you are coming from as I cannot get mine to go away either. It makes healing so much more difficult when the threat to your safety is always present. Don't give up though. Refuse to be a victim any longer. You are in my thoughts. :hug:
     
  10. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    I keep on getting better then he comes back then im that young kid again that should have been able to stop. the blame, the guilt, the fear it all comes back, and i cant shift it for days after. i wish my nan waa still here. she would be able to save me.
     
  11. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    FFS................
    I knew i shouldnt of went downstairs i new it.. i fucking new it. i aint been downstairs all day as i dont want 2 face my parents. they asked me to go downstairs and then they found out bout my wrists and my dad handed me a knife and shit loadsa pills, so fuck it im gonna do it
    i cant handle external shit as well as internal.. i cant do this anymore...
     
  12. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Sky,
    You know how to get ahold of me now on MSN, so please talk with me I don't want anymore harm to come to you!!!~Joseph~
     
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Sky. Please don't do it. Put away the knife and pills and let us help you. Please don't give up. :hug:
     
  14. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    heya ermm yeh i wish i could be safe in my life but im not. like i said my dad threw tablets at me, i wish had actually taken them but then my mum talked to me and calmed me down abit. i was stll going pyscho though at my dad. i cant believe what he has became - he screamed at me sayin that he has cancer and he wants to live whilst im trying to kill myself. ive tried explaining to him thats how i feel and everytime i do attempt, i feel guilter and guilter but i just have to do it.

    Ive had enough of this. cant wait until my holiday to run away from all of this. Avoidance is the best thing ever invented.
     
  15. wastedmylife

    wastedmylife Well-Known Member

    wow i just came here to write a topic with the same name, guess you stole my thunder
     
  16. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    sorry bout that! alot of people on here feel the same.

    My dad now is refusing to speak to me, which i guess in a way is good. but he flies to southampton tomorrow, and i fly out on tuesday and he said that im not allowed to go visit him in southampton genreal becuase he said i aint his daughter anymore. i dont know how to react. but i think if i die now, it wont bother anyone as i aint his daughter, and my mum musnt b my my mum if that makes sense. i dont know what to do anymore. im just so lost in this world, and i cant find my way out. i just wanna escape.
     
  17. Samantha

    Samantha Well-Known Member


    <<<<
    Have you had professional assistance for this already?

    Samantha
     
  18. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Yeah Ive been in Proffesional Care for about 2 years, but been transferred. Also Im going to rehab soon. I try and get better then all the shit happens and comes back so..
     
  19. notwanting2live

    notwanting2live Well-Known Member

    Ive came back from holiday all happy and feeling great having a break, but my dad has brought it down to hell. I hate it so much. He is still refusing to talk to me, although ive tried and he doesnt even wanna no me. okies fair enough but I just dont know what to do, ive tried sweeting him up, he dont wanna excetp any of the pressies that i brought back from him. I fucking hate this, i really do. If only I knew the reason behind it. I know he wasnt talking to me before i went on holliday because i slit my wrists, but surely that stil cant be the reason... :mad: GAWD i just cant take any more of this shit :mad:
     
  20. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sure your dad still loves you notwanting2live, but he just can't with your emotional issues. Don't take it personally. Not everyone is able to deal with depression/suicide. Maybe a little time apart will do some good? :hug:
     
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