I gave up my family for my partner they made me choose and i chose her i had 3 kids with her my life is her then out of the blue its over but i have to live with her as i have nowhere els and cant afford to live alone iv had mixed signals since she told me she loved me but said she diddnt have the feelings for me any more iv cuz my self in many of places i have no friends or family to talk to i dont know what to do i havent got the confidence to call any helplines
I gave up my family for her and now ......
- Thread starter Badgerboii95
- Start date
- Tags family need to talk relationships self harm
Sounds like you've found yourself in a pretty rough place at the moment @Badgerboii95 , so it's great that you've found these forums as this isn't something you need to deal with alone. I've found nothing but caring, supportive people on here who are always willing to listen, and if they've experienced something similar, will only be too willing to let you know what's worked for them.
This is a safe, non judgmental place so please feel free to open up as much as you are comfortable doing.
I'm assuming you'd want to try and make it work, so if that’s right first off make sure she knows that. Tell her you do still love her and you would prefer to try and make this work, but it’s a two way street and if she doesn’t feel the same way then you both need to move on in a way to is best for your children. this way you have no what if's. I don’t see her comments as mixed messages, sounds to me like she’s trying to tell you it’s over without being too harsh about it, she’s saying she doesn’t hate you, just doesn’t feel it’s going to work long term so it’s best to call it a day.
There’s nothing you can do to make someone love you, all you can do is be yourself and if they don’t appreciate that enough to know that it’s good for them to have you in their life, then you have to look after yourself and your children. I know it’s a cliché, and I know at the moment you can’t see it as being possible, but this hurt will fade and you will find enjoyment in life again, it just takes some time.
Also make sure you’re not too hard on yourself for the way you feel, the fact you care so much about this relationship that you’ve ended up feeling like this due to it breaking down, tells me that you’re a caring person who does have a lot to give and would be missed. You need to give yourself time to grieve the loss of this relationship properly , focus on your children and enjoy being with them, it’s a great distraction.
I don’t think there’s any rush in needing to move out, take your time, give yourself chance to work out where you’re at and where things are going, and come on here and let out whatever you need to, there’s lots of people here for you.
Take care.
This is a safe, non judgmental place so please feel free to open up as much as you are comfortable doing.
I'm assuming you'd want to try and make it work, so if that’s right first off make sure she knows that. Tell her you do still love her and you would prefer to try and make this work, but it’s a two way street and if she doesn’t feel the same way then you both need to move on in a way to is best for your children. this way you have no what if's. I don’t see her comments as mixed messages, sounds to me like she’s trying to tell you it’s over without being too harsh about it, she’s saying she doesn’t hate you, just doesn’t feel it’s going to work long term so it’s best to call it a day.
There’s nothing you can do to make someone love you, all you can do is be yourself and if they don’t appreciate that enough to know that it’s good for them to have you in their life, then you have to look after yourself and your children. I know it’s a cliché, and I know at the moment you can’t see it as being possible, but this hurt will fade and you will find enjoyment in life again, it just takes some time.
Also make sure you’re not too hard on yourself for the way you feel, the fact you care so much about this relationship that you’ve ended up feeling like this due to it breaking down, tells me that you’re a caring person who does have a lot to give and would be missed. You need to give yourself time to grieve the loss of this relationship properly , focus on your children and enjoy being with them, it’s a great distraction.
I don’t think there’s any rush in needing to move out, take your time, give yourself chance to work out where you’re at and where things are going, and come on here and let out whatever you need to, there’s lots of people here for you.
Take care.
Welcome to the forums, @Badgerboii95 , really glad you found us and chose to join. Being a member here can help your life in may ways. I am sorry for what you are going through. You say you have had mixed signals from her, why no just ask her straight out what she is thinking? Your children need you to be strong for them, you are a role model to them. Enjoy your time you have with your children and make the most of it. Hoping that things do start to improve for you, you are not alone in any shape or form. Best of luck to you. 