Hi, I've really tried this week to stop harming, and put a lot of effort into it. But it's been unsuccessful. Although I have cut down on the cutting and I haven't 8 days. I've also tried to cut down on some of the things I take, which has been more difficult. On 2 days I took more than usual (so much for the cutting down then!) Anyway, I thought today I'd try not to take anything at all. And I managed until my GP appointment for my physical aches and pains. He wanted to talk about my BPD and depression and I didn't want to. He then preceded to lecture me on what I should be doing to stop the pains ie loose weight. That topic is one of my main problems - how others see me and causes lack of confidence and low self esteem. He made me feel it's all my own fault and prescribed serious painkillers. How stupid is that? I take things I can't mention here as a method of self harm and he prescribes some more! How much thought did he give it? Answer - none. It's like I'm invisible. I feel stupid and worthless. What's the point in carrying on? I am trying really hard not to think about those painkillers in my bag - but I just want to take them all (GP's given me quite a lot). Since I've been home I have already taken most of my usual stuff (so all my good intentions for the day have disappeared) I haven't cut because my disabled teenager is around today and he'd see it. But I so want to take the pills.