I give it to Monday before I finally crack... I've held on for so fucking long, and I just don't want to anymore. No, it goes deeper than that. I CAN'T anymore, I am not physically able. I would go tonight, I would, but my mind, the same one that says 'Do it, kill yourself!' says, wait 'till Monday, see Doc. Roberts, see E..Erin... Tell her the truth for once, even though she doesn't want to hear it. I have only one regret... that even if I wait until Monday, the things I've done won't go away, and I still can't tell Mrs. Kirby the truth... The truth is I love these people! In different ways, but neither seem to want it. Erin has said as much to my friend Bryan, I believe him, because he's never lied before, and he knows how much this means to me, so wouldn't lie about it... And Mrs. Kirby won't even reply to the emails I've sent her... Won't even send me an email saying she doesn't want to talk to me! And I can't escape my past... it haunts me.... I told myself that I could old on through life unless two things compounded on top of my past. If Erin says that she could never, and will NEVER care for me, that it's not possible, and if Mrs. Kirby said she wouldn't talk, or never replied... Erin was keeping me alive, and she didn't know it. I didn't know it. Not until now.... And now all of the conditions are met.... But I have to be sensible, I have to keep a level head, make the 'right' choice, just like always, right? I'll wait... I'll try.... But I'm not sure I can... Just make the broken pieces of me stop falling... please?