I give up, I just don't get it...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Princeofhope, Mar 30, 2007.

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  1. Princeofhope

    Princeofhope Well-Known Member

    ...I don't know what to do. I try forgetting about people but they always seem to come back to haunt me. I left these forums because I got sick and tired of watching people complain about life, I got sick and tired of reading line after line of the same emo-bullshit. Life is hard, yeah I know it is.

    I was smacked around when I was a kid, I was molested, and I was physically abused almost all my life but I'm above that. Tonight's different, I'm tired of helping people, it's not worth it...here I am, the type of guy that no one liked until college...then college hits and he's looked up to by everyone.

    Everyday it's the same news, the shit, the same filth over and over and over again. None of it matters, I'm tired of it.

    I joined a Suicide Club to stop idiots like you from doing yourself in! And what happens the bitch pops some pills before she calls me and look before my fucking eyes, her dead body when I go into her unlocked house. What does it say, “Thanks for everything, in the end I wasn't strong enough. I'm glad I met you though.”

    I'm tired of it...I'm tired of losing people I care about.

    The ones I get close to are the ones I end up losing.

    Why the fuck do you guys even think about suicide?! Why the fuck am I thinking about it now? People care about you idiots! It may not be the people you want but people really care about you and dying will hurt everyone! Life is so fucking beautiful, a new born child, a first kiss, telling the woman you love that you'll be her knight...all of these things...

    ...sure life is dark as fuck. There may never seem to be hope, more and more people may seem to be dying...but the world keeps spinning.

    It's not worth it.

    The girl I like, a girl I swore I'd protect, is the one I hurt the most. Her father committed suicide when she was a baby, I know that it effects her...so please fucking think!

    I'm tired of dealing with suicide cases, I'm tired of seeing dead bodies, and I'm tired of all of this...it's gotten to a point when I question my own fucking life!

    “You know what I like to do? Pick out the little, beautiful things in the world. Stuff like a baby laughing, an elderly couple holding hands, moonlight on autumn leaves. It's a little strange, I suppose, but it helps me get through the days."

    Someone that I respect a lot told me that...and I'll live by those words.

    Rise like damn phoenix and look at the sky.

    I just don't know what to say anymore...
  2. Evo_L

    Evo_L Well-Known Member

    If you can't handel it, you know what to do :wink:

    But yeah, it is bad, it's like a dog chasing it's own tail. If you don't feel that way I suggest you isolate yourself from those people who do feel that way. I've tried very hard in my life to change in certain ways but there are issues about my life that are never going to be settled.

    In real life I keep everything to myself, to my friends I'm a humourist and easy going. I don't discuss my deep personal problems with them because there are no answers for them, it makes people feel awkward and embarrassed for me. There's no answers at all for my problems at all, there's little to discuss. I have in the past befriended people online and told them my problems and really let loose but i do that with some degree anomity and at the end of the day I can keep some dignity from it all.

    Life unfortunately isn't going to be right for a lot of people, they will never rise above any of their problems. I used to work in medicine and I saw it a lot, people dying, people born in certain misery from birth. You may think well not be grateful for every second you have after seeing people die in agony in their toddler age and pre-teen? But I don't and I am not, because I believe there is a degree of that same hopelessness that exists in most people who feel suicidal. They fall within that poor spectrum of life that isn't worth living. I know this from first hand experience and from talking to others, even just on here my suspicions of the matter have been confirmed.

    Some people are hopeless, the NAZI's recognised this during their eugenics programmes, they recognised that depression was an illness that was bad for the human and people suffering from it should be sterlizied or terminated. The nazi's brought into the belief of Nietzsche that man was the pinniacle of evolution and the first step to being the Ubermensch. However of course Nietzsche misunderstood the theory of evolution, believing man to be the top of it. We're not, everthing is best adapted for it's own survival, a woodlouse or cat is as evolved as we are, being clever doesn't come into it.

    However, I'm going on a tangent here, but i firmly believe that suicidal and depressed people who make that choice to end their lives have may the right choice, to free themselves and others.

    You wouldn't sit through a bad film, why tollerate an exhausting life of complete and utter dissapointment, horror, rejection, tourment, woe, sleepless nights, bitterness, poor-health and feeling of being second to all?
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