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i go from one extreme to the other very quickly

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lost_jo, Mar 24, 2011.

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  1. lost_jo

    lost_jo Member

    I think I've lostt everyone around me due to being the way I am and I really hate hurting people and given them reason to let me push them away. I go from what I'm feeling now ... Tired angry alone unloved

    I kinda feel like no one would even notice if I were gone . I feel like its getting harder n harder as dayz go on with less n less reasons to keep fighting.

    I go from feeling so so so so shit to the point for a day people think I'm nornal again , like a show I've put on to make me happy when I know I'm shit that the world watches n believes isn't make believe .

    I've tried talking to doctors n they making it worse not better , I feel they messing me around. I feel like the whole world is telling me to get lost . I don't know what to so , I don't know how to feel , I don't know what's real n not . I don't know who I am or what I want ne more
  2. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Say more about what's hurting you. What hurts so bad that it's making you want to kill yourself?
  3. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    There are many things that you can do to find these answers. One would be to take on a spiritual journey and seek a purpose. We all have one, and you do too. I used to be bipolar and boarderline personality. I constantly pushed people away and it sabotoged everything I tried to do, but there is hope and all it takes is for you to seek it to find it. You are very much needed in this life, and I pray that you find the understanding in how that is before giving up completely. Blessings..
  4. lost_jo

    lost_jo Member

    I hurt both phsically n mentaly , my health is far from good , headaches the odd nose bleed being run down 24 7 .
    But what hurts thew most is I can c what I've done to the peoplle I really care about , it hurts that they have come to the point that they have given up on me , they don't know what to do or say ne more and being alone is unbareable
  5. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    So let me make sure I've got this straight. Not only do you feel physical pain, but you also feel guilty about things you've done to people you care for? I know it might be difficult to talk about, but what have you done that you feel guilty for?

    Also, I know what you mean when it comes to loved ones seemingly giving up on you. But it's probably not out of malevolence--as you said, they don't know what to say. A lot of people just don't deal well when other people have problems. People are narcissistic--they think everything they say is what the other person needs to hear, but in reality they don't have that kind of influence. Do you know what I mean? It frustrates people when they can't say something simple and make it all better.
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