i googled suicide tonight

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by wltg, Jan 8, 2008.

  1. wltg

    wltg New Member

    a a man i knew did it sat. I will tell you that is the ONLY reason I got on this tonight. I feel raped. He called me a couple days before he did it. I spoke with him like i would have anyother time. NOW I am feeling guilt. Was I THE ONE that pushed the envelope??? OR should i be happy i was on his call list??? PLEASE PLEASE you all, if you want to do it, as some of all do at one point, PLEASE do not make the rest of us feel guilty. And as a side note...please be nice to people....

    thanks wltg
  2. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    Not everyone who decides to take their life has the intention to make those around them feel guilty. They are possibly struggling and feel their only way to fix their problems is to take their life or they feel that no matter what happens they're never going to live a reasonable life without too much struggles or heartache. You are probably hurting and i'm sorry you are going through this. But there is no way you could of pushed that evelope because you only spoke to him once a year so there is unlikely that you caused what has happened. Most who commit suicide has thoughts of doing it long before doing it and most times it is hardly for only one reason, generally speaking.
    please don't be hard on yourself
  3. Blacksheep

    Blacksheep Well-Known Member

    i googled suicide once...thats how i found this place.
    sorry that this didnt help at all, but i just like the irony that i was looking for a way to kill myself...and i instead found a way to stay alive.
  4. Djugg

    Djugg New Member

    well, i googled suicide ...don't know, 10 minutes ago? 20? maybe 30... i goolged suicide in hope to find something... well i really don't know how to say it in english ~.~ but i was looking for something thats the point.
    i really wish it would end now, just everything i know. i just got to the point that i am just a looser i have reached nothing so far in my life, absolutely nothing except for ... oh my god, im thinking too long for things i have reached, well i have reached that i know to hurt my very own soul every time i do something, it doesn't matter what i'm doing... it always implies to hurt me... whether physical or emotional, i'm hangin in for suicide for about a year now...maybe more, i can't say exactly because in the past i mostly displaced this thoughts, but in the last time, i just couldn't do this anymore... i even don't acknowledge to myself that i got this feelings, i always try to play the happy guy as all the years before, but the longer i try to keep this facade to hold up, the more it hurts, the more feelings of my useless existence grow up in my mind, the more bad things happen to me, slowly i just want it to end... nobody would mention it anyway... i mean, i have such problems to write all this down, im wirting for half an hour now, and ... well just shows how useless i am... can't write a neat text... but somehow it's hard, really hard to write it all down, and neither told why i'm here nor why it came to my thoughts about all this... it must look so weird and...senseless? ... oh my god i'm sorry i wasted your time at all ...