I got a question.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by The Jester Race, Mar 29, 2008.

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  1. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    So if you're too lazy to live and have no desire to better yourself...EVER...isn't suicide the best decision? I mean, there's no room in the world for lazy people, right? Wouldn't I be doing the world a favor by offing myself?
  2. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    when you say you have no desire to better yourself, is that because you don't think you ever will do better no matter how hard you try?
  3. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    No...my lame bullshit excuse is that I don't want to try. The truth is ugly.
    I'm sure if I tried as hard as normal people did, I will succeed. I just have no desire whatsoever to do so. Make sense?
  4. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    no motivation? i think i understand what you mean yeah, i suppose i don't really have any motivation either...thinking that i won't succeed in anything so what's the point in trying

    if i completely missed your point then sorry lol :unsure:
  5. SadDude1980

    SadDude1980 Well-Known Member

    That actually makes a lot of sense.

    I've felt that way before. I knew the truth. I was lazy and wasn't doing anything to improve myself or do more than I was doing. I was at home, playing world of warcraft, drinking, listening to music, watching movies, laying in bed.

    Then one day my wife went from saying everyhing was fine with life to I was the shittiest laziest thing on earth.

    I heard her.

    I got a job, cleaned the house, tried to help and push myself despite the escalated drinking which she helped by buying me wine... but in the end, she left me anyway because she's just reached a point where no one and nothing can satisify her anymore.

    But I hear you. I've been where you are before. i felt depressed about myself "just taking up space". Nobody is a waste of space that feels that way about themselves. Anyone who has thoughts and feelings and reflects upon themselves is more than likely a deep person who just needs to be heard and understood by someone.
  6. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    Hit the nail right on the head :smile:
    And I dunno how to make things better.
    All I see is suicide.
    And since I live in SF, The Golden Gate Bridge is oh so tempting.
  7. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    I'm sorry to hear that, sweetheart :sad:
    I'm here if you ever need to talk!
    Have things gotten better since?
  8. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    i know all you see is suicide, but honestly there's probably other ways to make it better...i don't know what right now, but you never know do you? i'm probably making no sense tonight but do know how you feel - and i'm still here
    there are times when i don't want to be though, believe me...but there's always the 'what if' that kinda keeps me going

    hope that makes some sense anyway :smile:
  9. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    I'm very glad that you have something to hold on to, something to keep you alive each day :hug: Never let that go :smile:

    Wish I had that something.

    I planned on doing it this week, but there's something holding me back. Not exactly sure what that is yet. Definitely not family or friends. I honestly see no way out. I'm a lazy fuck and that will never change, no matter how much encouragement I'm given. Positive thoughts make me sick to my stomach. I'm obviously a pretty fucked up soul, doomed from conception.

    Boo hoo. Woe is me.

    I just want it to be over.
  10. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    You just caught me on a good day, that's all :smile: other days I'll be the complete opposite, but yeah there is always one thing that keeps me going (I won't say what it is on here) but if that does go wrong or turns out to be not what I hoped for then well...I won't have anything left lol

    but I don't think you're fucked up, you just don't see anything positive and there's nothing wrong with that, normally I'm the most negative person to walk the earth (seriously) can you deffinately not turn to your friends? or are they another reason why you want things to be over? cos I know if I'm going through a really bad time and I'm seriously thinking about suicide, then my friends always cheer me up, even if it's only for a short while and I feel just as bad after...still makes me reconsider things a bit
  11. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    Nah, I think that "World's Biggest Pessimist" award goes to The Jester Race :laugh: I will literally find a negative thing in every situation. I hate me.

    But no, I don't really have any friends like that, only my long distance boyfriend. He's not even enough to keep me living anymore. I've always been a loner, which is no problem in my eyes. I'm just socially awkward, I never know what to say. I avoid people and phone calls. I'm on myspace all the fucking time because I have no life. Mom constantly reminds me of that. I have nothing going for me. So that's no friends, very little job skills, and no desire to live.

    Terrible combo.

    Why am I still here?
  12. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    Ohhh long distance boyfriends - been there, done that, never again! lol how often do you get to see him? isn't that something to look forward to though? I wouldn't say I have a lot of job skills either since I had to leave college recently so I won't have A levels...so I can relate to you there
    part from that I don't know :unsure: lol all I'll say is if you ever do need someone to listen feel free to PM me :hug:
  13. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    You'll get a kick out of this - we've never met! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

    We do see each other on the webcam, if that counts for anything.
    I suck.

    Much appreciated! :hug:
  14. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    each to their own :smile: lol

    and no problem!
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