So I've been recently (about 3 months ago) diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I'm in counseling and am on medication. I was feeling very optimistic that I would finally head down the road to recovery after 16 years. However, I sometimes feel more suicidal than ever. I get very strong urges to just not be around anymore. I tell my doctor that I'm more depressed than ever, but he says it just takes more time. I don't say I'm suicidal because I don't want to get carted off. I'm as unmotivated and unintreseted in things as I have ever been. Maybe I should give things more time, but I'm starting feeling more hopeless than ever. I don't know, maybe I've gone past the point of no return. Maybe there is no getting better.