I just wanted to thank those of you who talked to me the past few months. I was extremely suicidal. I started to get to the point that that was all I was thinking about. I went in last week to see my doctor about another issue I am having, just to find out that now I will have to have surgery in 10 days. I will be laid off for up to 6weeks. But during the discussion, I brought up my depression and talked with the Medical doctor. She prescribed me Lexapro. Only a few days on it, and I am already starting to feel better. I am hardly ever even thinking about suicide anymore. That in itself has shocked and amazed me, because I am always self examining myself. I guess that i shouldn't be saying that because my other counciler is telling me that I am too negative. But I had developed depression for so long, that I didn't know how else to see myself. I am still scared, concerned and worried a bit about my life, and where I am heading. Up coming surgery in 10 days with no friends or family around to take care of me. Still no girlfriend, though for the first time in a long time, I actually feel good and like a human being again. So, maybe I will finally start acting like the happy, go lucky guy that I once was. If only I can get over the sleeplessness of this new medicine. Anyway, thanks all!